You're So Vain
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| George Galloway as a cat on Big Brother |
Now that may be true - if a tad cruel - but it doesn't stop our politicians being terribly vain - about how they are portrayed in the columns of the press.
At the weekend the Independent newspaper ran a delightful article about the private archives of the great political profile writer - Andrew Roth - who died last year.
Apparently Roth researched and kept a file on every MP, Member of European Parliament and Peer from 1950 - until his death in August 2010 - aged 91.
Roth's archive became a treasure trove for political journalists and biographers - according to the Independent - but not all of his subjects agreed with how they were portrayed.
Ed Miliband - for example - took exception to the description of his nose and George Galloway objected to being described as a "Bollinger Bolshevik" - because of his love of the high life.
Andrew Roth had an intriguing background - he came to the UK having been driven out of nhis ative New York by the McCarthy Witchhunts - and made London his new home from home.
Here are a few of his pen portraits - which appeared in the Independent at the weekend.
George Galloway
"Is it fair to call me a 'Bollinger Bolshevik' when I have never tasted the stuff?" asked the former Labour and later Respect MP in a list of 20 corrections, dated 2003. Roth decided to keep the phrase. Other corrections include: "Dr Chris Mason is a man"; "My ex-wife... does not live in Blackheath"; and "My eyes are blue". Roth's 7,000-word profile of Galloway ends: "London house in Streatham; pied-a-terre in Glasgow; villa in Algarve."
Ed Miliband
"One thing I haven't corrected is 'camel nose'," wrote the now leader of the Labour party in 2005 of an earlier draft of his profile which described him: "Tall, large head on narrow shoulders, sallow complexion, dark hair, camel nose, staring look, effortlessly fluent, supremely confident, eager, boyish manner." "I leave it up to you," he added, "but it struck me as slightly odd. What kind of noses do camels have anyway?!" Roth agreed, and the offending metaphor was removed.
John Bercow
In six pages of corrections sent in 2003 the now House of Commons Speaker claimed, among other things, that his hair was "no longer centrally-parted or spikey!". Roth instead documented how Bercow had progressed from aggressive right-winger to Portillo-style social liberal "with only his hair formerly parted in the centre". Bercow also rejected the accusation that he had "a talent for abandoning sinking ships in favour of others floating in his desired direction".
Liam Fox
Fox's brief letter of 2004 refers to a scandal that engulfed the former Defence Secretary long before Adam Werritty came along. "I would like you to make an amendment to remove the word 'racist' which referred to a joke I made at a private occasion." In 2000, Fox was forced by Tory leader William Hague to apologise for a joke he made at a Commons Christmas party: "What do you call three dogs and a blackbird? The Spice Girls."
Nick Brown
The Newcastle MP and, later, chief whip under Gordon Brown, wrote pages of corrections in 2003 to a profile he described as "pretty hopeless". He objected to the use of the term "vendetta man" and the accounts of his rift with Peter Mandelson, who was "certainly no worse than anyone else in political life... I don't see why you've singled me out for disliking him more than the rest of the Parliamentary Party dislike him".
