Poetry Corner
The London Mayor, Boris Johnson, is a talented chap whatever you think of his politics and he has proved as much by writing a poem for the launch of a book by Rachel Kelly, 'Black Rainbow', a collection of poetry intended to help people suffering from depression.
But Bojo, ever the politician, uses the opportunity to take a swipe at his political rivals including the Labour leader, Ed Miliband, while helping to publicise the book.
In one verse, Boris refers to the manner in which Ed snatched the Labour crown from his older brother David Miliband, but his targets are many and varied.
Here is Boris Johnson's poem in full:
Read a Poem
The book we hail tonight
– and by gum this girl can write –
has a very simple thesis:
If your life has gone to pieces
Read a poem
When no doctor and no nurse
Can stop you feeling worse
And you’re railing at the failings
Of the whole damn universe
Read a poem
When the RMT is out
And the Tube is up the spout
And the bus is overheating
And you’ve missed a crucial meeting
Read a poem
There is no known disaster
That poetry can’t master
No human agony that it can’t calm
So when your nerves have turned to jelly
Follow clever Rachel Kelly
And uncork a poem’s magic verbal balm
If you’re feeling pretty blue
And you’re French and five foot two
And you’re lost at Waterloo
Read a poem
When you’ve been stopped from leading Labour
By your brother’s bad behaviour
Read some Wilfred Scawen Blunt
And forget the little ----
If you’ve been driving much too fast
And Mrs Huhne has grassed
Don’t get cross with Mrs Huhne
Try some Owen or Sassoon
Read a poem
Learn to silence the cold caller
With a chunk of Edmund Waller
If your children’s manner grates
Read William Butler Yeats
If they yammer for a story
Give them William Johnson Cory
If your fuse is going to blow
Try some Edgar Allan Poe
If you’ve got a carcinoma
Try a line or two of Homer
And a gumboil on the ass
Can be cured with Lycidas
And when the awful moment comes
To buy presents for your chums
And you feel the rising panic
Like the captain of Titanic
Get them Keats and get them Shelley
But mainly get them Rachel Kelly
It’s here in easy reach
And it’s perfect for the beach
Don’t just look
Buy this book
