Eat My Shorts

So the stunning news that Albert Einstein might have goofed up - over his bold claim that nothing in the universe can travel faster than the speed of light - appears to have been wrong after all.

Apparently the rogue result obtained by scientists at the Cern laboratory in Switzerland - might have been caused by a loose cable - which suggests that Einstein's special theory of relativity might be safe for a few light years yet.

The world will now be a quieter place I suspect - because if Einstein had been wrong and things could travel faster than the speed of light then - of course - time travel would be possible.

Which would encourage people to get up to all kinds of tricks - in an effort to turn the clock back.

Just imagine thousands of Rangers fans would now be queueing up to jump back in time - to May 2011.

Because if they knew then what they know now - that scoundrel Craig Whyte would never have been allowed to get his hands on the Ibrox club - but sadly that's now not possible it seems.

Someone who won't be upset by the news Jim Al-Khalili - professor of physics at the University of Surrey - who promised to eat his own shorts - if Einstein had turned out to be wrong.

As Scotty the engineer was fond of saying on Star Trek - 'Ye cannae change the laws of physics.'

Eat My Shorts (26 September 2112)

Reports at the weekend suggested that scientists in Switzerland may have overturned the laws of physics - or Einstein's theory of special relativity - as I am fond of saying over the breakfast table occasionally.

But in a very unboffin-like response - Jim Al-Khalili - professor of physics at the University of Surrey - has said he will 'eat his shorts' - or 'eat my shorts' to be strictly accurate - if this turns out to be true.

Now apparently the boffins in Switzerland are shooting neutrinos down to Italy - in some kind of wacky scientific pea-shooter - only to find that these pesky neutrinos are arriving there earlier than they should.

Which - if true - means that they are travelling at faster than the speed of light.

Which is impossible according to Albert Einstein's theory of special relativity - which says that nothing can travel faster than light - which speeds along at 186,282 miles per second.

Which is even faster than Labour's famous policy U-turns - in the run up to the Scottish Parliament's elections - it has to be said.

So we are now in the position where the brainiest folks in the world - are quoting Bart Simpson - in their quest to solve the mysteries of the universe.

Professor Jim Al-Khalili - by the way - has also said that if he has to eat his shorts - they will be accompanied by lashings ot tomato ketchup.

I can only advise the potentially absent-minded professor - that in his understandable excitement - he should remember to wash them thoroughly first.