Polly-wolitics and Booky Wooks
Michael Deacon writing in The Telegraph does an excellent hatchet job on Russell Brand's new book with this spoof extract from "A True 'Istory of Polly-wolitics an' That".
I think Russell should take the hint and go back to comedy because in my view his 'brand' of revolutionary Polly-wolitics is just not cutting the mustard
We present an exclusive extract, taken from a chapter in which Mr Brand debunks the most egregious myths
Russell Brand shares his views at the Occupy Wall Street Rally in New York Photo: REX FEATURE
By Michael Deacon - The Telegraph
The political theorist and former Big Brother’s Big Mouth presenter Russell Brand has just published Revolution, a powerful treatise in which he calls for the overthrow of capitalism. Recently he declared that he believes so strongly in his views that he is “ready to die” for them. The news was widely welcomed.
Today we present an exclusive extract, taken from a chapter in which Mr Brand debunks the most egregious myths from political history.
It is entitled “A True ’Istory of Polly-wolitics an’ That”.
THE INVENTION OF THE WHEEL
The ’umble wheel. A beautiful idea, notion, concept, theory, brainchild, thinky-doodle. Its creators even made it round so it would symbolise the ever-revolving circularity of human consciousness.
They never intended the wheel for vulgar vehicular usage. Cavemen communities across the globe are horrified by the way their innocent innovation – employed originally as a kind of festive headgear – has been traduced by profit-crazed, environment-destroying manufacturers of cars, lorries, bicycles, scooters, prams and wheelbarrows.
General Motors has made a big heap of dosh out of the wheel. So’s Ford. And Toyota, Ferrari, Volkswagen, Lego.
But what percentage of those corporations’ annual profits – confirmed by experts to run well into the squillions – goes to the honest cavemen who invented it?
The figure is estimated at less than 0.15 per cent.
And what have our theoretically elected representatives done to tackle this nefarious injustice?
Zilch. As per usual, they prove cravenly supplicant to corporate tyranny.
THE BLACK DEATH
Even the cosiest Right-wing Establishment historians have come to accept that the Black Death was this massive plague 700 years ago that killed trillions of ’umble serfs, peasants and wenches.
Interesting, though, innit, how you never hear anyone in the mainstream media say that the Black Death was an inside job perpetrated by the Bush administration at the behest of the big oil companies.
Now, why would they want to keep schtum about that, d’you reckon? Could they possibly perchance have something to hide?
I’m not necessarily saying George W Bush developed a secret time machine to travel to 14th-century Europe, so that he could unleash the most devastating epidemic in history, on the orders of Halliburton.
What I am saying, though, right, is let’s keep an open mind about it.
THE MOON LANDINGS
Our money-guzzling Western hierarchies have an obvious interest in perpetuating the propaganda that walking on the Moon was some sort of triumph for mankind.
Conveniently, though, they always seem to gloss over the thousands of indigenous aliens they slaughtered when they got there.
As even the most cursory reading of Chomsky makes clear, America landed on the Moon solely as a means to consolidate its galactic hegemony. To this day it spends billions of lunar dollars a year arming itself against Neptune and Pluto.
Funny how you don’t hear about it on the BBC. The BBC never seems to find time to air anti-Establishment views.
As I was explaining only the other day on Newsnight, Today, News at Six, BBC Breakfast and Bargain Hunt.
