Only a Game!
I enjoyed this article from Private Eye, the UK's best and only fortnightly satirical magazine, in which a doctor writers about the the beautiful game and the fuss surrounding Jose Mourinho's spectacular falling with Team Chelsea's physician, Eva Corneiro.
A Doctor Writes
As a doctor, I'm often asked, What the fuck you doing, you crazy woman?! Don't you know the rules of football?!
To which the simple answer is - "Calm down, Mr Mourinho, I'm just doing my job, and it's only a stupid game."
This situation arises when a player is injured on the pitch , requiring urgent medical attention, but the manager is more concerned about the flak he's going to get for dropping two points at home to Swansea.
What the manager is showing are symptoms of megalomaniacal neurosis or Oligarch Syndrome, which can end in the termination of one's contract, or if Polonium* is involved, something worse.
Side effects can include extreme misogyny, sulking in press conferences, and the refusal to admit you've down anything wrong.
So at the end of the day, if you wish to avoid being sick as a parrot, and want to feel over the moon again, simply take one game at a time, and before you know it, the boy's done good.
@ Doctor
Polonium is, of course, the new centre back recently signed from Dynamo Moscow.
Laugh? I was in stitches though thankfully not of the medical kind.
