Mad Mullahs

One of the more bizarre stories to emerge at the weekend - was that a pair of Iranian footballers face a public lashing - for their over zealous celebrations after scoring a goal.

For over zealous - read 'homo-erotic' - because these two chaps have been deemed to violated Iran's strict anti-gay laws - which seem to obsess parts of the Iranian parliament.

I couldn't imagine that the two players were actually rolling around - snogging each other on the grass - and I was right.

Apparently the dastardly crime - which can be viewed online - involves the Persepolis defender - Mohammad Nosrati - squeezing his teammate's buttock during a match last weekend.

The report I read doesn't explain the nature teammate's offence - other than having his buttock squeezed - but the teammate (Sheys Rezaei) was still fined £25,000 - along with the offending defender Mohammad Nosrati.

Incredibly Sheys Rezaei has also been sacked from the team for his 'immoral' celebration - despite being the 'squezee' and not the 'squeezer'.

I think you can have some fun with this nonsense - by reworking the famous chicken plucker rhyme:

I'm not a buttock squeezer - I'm a buttock squeezer's son

But I'll go on squeezing buttocks - until the buttock squeezing's done.

Just goes to show you what happens - when you let religious fanatics run your country.