Vote Early, Vote Often
I cast my postal vote in the great EU Referendum several days ago.
For Remain of course, because I wouldn't trust the people heading up the Leave campaign to run a whelk stall, never mind give them a big say in running the country or the UK economy.
Mad Nad and Bonkers Boris (30/05/16)
The ridiculous Nadine Dorries is one of a number of Conservative MPs who have been calling for the Prime Minister's head over the weekend for allegedly telling 'porkies' and 'operating being the limits' of fair campaigning in the great EU referendum campaign.
"You cannot be serious", I said to myself on hearing these dumb claims especially when the 'start striker' of the Leave side made such a fool of himself the other day with his ill-informed advice on buying bananas.
Mad Nad and Bonkers Boris - a match made in heaven, if you ask me.
Bananarama (20/05/16)
Here's a bunch of five bananas I bought in my local supermarket in Glasgow the other day, one or two of which were especially 'curvy'.
So I think I'll send a copy of this post to Boris Johnson courtesy of his Westminster email address and ask the leader of the 'Leave' campaign if he is now prepared to eat his words.
Boris Goes Bananas (18/05/16)
I'm off to my local supermarket later today to test Boris Johnson's latest intervention in the great EU debate to destruction.
As regular readers know, I've been saying for some time that Bojo's lost his mojo, but it appears even worse than that because his thoughts on bananas suggest that the former London Mayor really lost his marbles.
Speaking in support of his view as to why Britain should leave the EU, Boris said:
"If we take back control on 23 June, we can also get rid of so much of the pointless rules and regulations that are holding back this country.
"This gentleman here mentions bananas. It is absurd that we are told you cannot sell bananas of bunches of more than two or three bananas.
"You cannot sell bananas with abnormal curvature of the fingers. Why should they tell us?"
Now I've bought bananas in all kinds of places - Morrisons, Sainsburys, Asda, Tesco, Marks & Spencer, local markets - and I've done so both at home and abroad (in Europe) without the slightest problem.
I've never been restricted to just two or three bananas or had extra curvy ones snatched form my hands at the till.
But it's great PR for the Remain side while making Bojo look like a complete laughing stock - Boris may be good for a laugh, but his hopes of ever becoming Prime Minister are receding by the day.
Moonlighting MPs (10/12/12)
I'm pleased to announce that my campaign to hold the country's moonlighting MPs to account - for pretending that they can do two jobs at the same time - is starting to take off .
Gordon Brown - the sometime Labour MP and former Prime Minister - was put under the spotlight in yesterday's Sunday Times and rightly so.
Because Gordon is one of the worst offenders - in terms of the amount of time he spends abroad away from his day job - as an MP in the House of Commons.
I also heard Nadine Dorries being interviewed on the Sunday Politics programme yesterday - in which she suggested, quite brazenly, that local constituents in Mid-Bedfordshire are fully behind recent appearance on 'I'm a Celebrity' - in the Australian jungle.
Now there's no way of testing that theory at the moment - short of a general election - because there is no power of recall over Westminster MPs.
Even if people believe they are behaving badly, MPs can just hang on in there and stay in post - until they have to face the electorate again - which may be years away, of course.
The only sensible point that Nadine Dorries made in her interview was that double standards appear to be at work in Westminster - that women MPs seems to be given harsher treatment for stepping out of line compared to their male colleagues.
Now I agree with that because the political establishment at Westminster has taken no action against Gordon Brown for being away so regularly from his post - yet 'Mad Nad' has the Whip withdrawn for what is her first offence.
I hope the Sunday Times article encourages others to raise the issue - because this is not about party politics - it's about the use of public money and the accountability of our elected representatives at Westminster.
The reality is that this kind of behaviour would not be tolerated at any other level of government - because there would be a huge public outcry.
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Two good reasons for voting Yes to Europe in the June referendum - a right pair of political chancers.
I really enjoyed Matthew Parris poking fun in The Times the other day - at the hugely pretentious behaviour of UKIP's 'Del Boy' leader, Nigel Farage.
I think Matthew Parris may just have stumbled upon Nigel's Achilles Heel - the use of humour to poke fun at people who behave in this ridiculously pompous way - instead of coming across all red faced, angry and po-faced.
Come to think of it, the 'Farridge versus Faraage' debacle may help to explain why UKIP has failed to ignite in Scotland - since we Scots are so generally very disapproving of people with affected airs and graces.
And in support my theory, I just remembered that I was at college and university with a chap called Neil Farage - and Farridge is how he and we pronounced his name. I wonder where he is now?
So if UKIP's poll ratings begin to drop like a heavy stone - remember, you heard it here first.
"Farage disparaged"
"A number of voices are this week calling the UKIP leader “Nigel Farridge”. This is to be encouraged. It is almost four years since, in this Diary column (September 10, 2009) I deplored Mr F’s poncified pronunciation of his own name, as in “massage” or “entourage” rather than the good old English forage, cribbage or cabbage. Like the way Hyacinth Bucket switched to Bouquet, and pretentious nitwits are now pronouncing “homage” as om-ahge.
And this from a professed Europhobe! Nigel Farage responded with good humour in our Letters column, confessing that his family name used to be pronounced and spelt “Farridge” — but that someone wrote “Farage” on a marriage certificate in 1890 and “Farage” it stayed. Mr F went on to accuse my ancestors of “Frenchifying” our own name, Parris, but this is the opposite of the truth: the double “r” distances us from Paris. Anyway, he concluded: “I suspect it is a little too late for rebranding.” Oh no it isn’t, Mr Farridge."
Gordon Brown - the sometime Labour MP and former Prime Minister - was put under the spotlight in yesterday's Sunday Times and rightly so.
Because Gordon is one of the worst offenders - in terms of the amount of time he spends abroad away from his day job - as an MP in the House of Commons.
I also heard Nadine Dorries being interviewed on the Sunday Politics programme yesterday - in which she suggested, quite brazenly, that local constituents in Mid-Bedfordshire are fully behind recent appearance on 'I'm a Celebrity' - in the Australian jungle.
Now there's no way of testing that theory at the moment - short of a general election - because there is no power of recall over Westminster MPs.
Even if people believe they are behaving badly, MPs can just hang on in there and stay in post - until they have to face the electorate again - which may be years away, of course.
The only sensible point that Nadine Dorries made in her interview was that double standards appear to be at work in Westminster - that women MPs seems to be given harsher treatment for stepping out of line compared to their male colleagues.
Now I agree with that because the political establishment at Westminster has taken no action against Gordon Brown for being away so regularly from his post - yet 'Mad Nad' has the Whip withdrawn for what is her first offence.
I hope the Sunday Times article encourages others to raise the issue - because this is not about party politics - it's about the use of public money and the accountability of our elected representatives at Westminster.
The reality is that this kind of behaviour would not be tolerated at any other level of government - because there would be a huge public outcry.
"Globe-trotting Gordon Brown loses his voice"
by Dipesh Gadher
"From dispatch box bruiser to Westminster’s silent man. Gordon Brown has not spoken in parliament for more than a year while crisscrossing the globe to maintain an international profile.
The former Labour prime minister has declared 28 overseas trips on the MPs’ register of interests since he last spoke in the Commons on November 30, 2011. They include six visits to New York, where he holds an academic post, six trips to the Middle East and stop-offs in Seoul, Lagos and Mexico City.
Much of the jet-setting is linked to Brown’s humanitarian work, but his hosts have included Arab rulers, Russian banks and the Chinese government.
Now the Conservatives have accused Brown of having a “casual disregard” for his constituents in Scotland and have written to Ed Miliband, calling on the Labour leader to remove the party whip from the former prime minister.
There is even disquiet among Labour ranks that Brown continues to draw an MP’s salary of £65,738 while making only rare appearances in parliament. “He’s very much the forgotten man; it’s as if he wasn’t here,” said one senior Labour figure. “There must be concern among his constituents that he’s drawing a salary and allowances while not being at Westminster.”
The criticism may put pressure on Brown to relinquish his Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath seat ahead of the 2015 general election.
An audit by The Sunday Times has discovered that only three MPs have been less vocal in parliament than Brown. However, two of them are government whips and, by convention, do not take part in debates.
The third, Khalid Mahmood, a Labour MP in Birmingham, has not spoken since May 2011 but has been suffering from kidney failure and is awaiting a transplant.
Brown has taken part in only three Commons debates since losing the election in May 2010. The last time he spoke, he raised concerns about radioactive waste dumped in his constituency in the 1950s by the Ministry of Defence.
By contrast, John Major, the former Conservative prime minister, spoke in seven debates in the year before he stood down as an MP in 2001.
Hansard records show that Brown last tabled a written parliamentary question on February 9 this year. He has taken part in 14% of votes since losing office, according to the Public Whip website.
Brown declared 28 foreign trips between November 30, 2011, and July 3 this year. He has yet to register at least four further visits, including trips to South Sudan and Pakistan.
Since leaving No 10, Brown has received more than £2m in fees and expenses — although this has all been ploughed back into his public and charitable activities. He has held roles as “distinguished global leader in residence” at New York University and chairman of the World Economic Forum policy co-ordination group.
Brown has also been a visiting fellow at Harvard and was appointed special envoy for global education by the United Nations in July.
Since he last spoke in the Commons, Brown’s declared fees from international speech-making alone have topped £800,000. In May he received £60,679.90 for one hour’s work at an event organised by the Abu Dhabi education council. This equates to more than £1,000 a minute — although it was not for personal gain.
The MPs’ register shows that each payment goes to the Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown “for the employment of staff to support my ongoing involvement in public life”.
John Glen, Tory MP for Salisbury, recently wrote to Miliband, claiming that Brown’s prolonged silence showed “a casual disregard” for his constituents. Glen also said many would see Brown’s ability to receive an MP’s salary and thousands of pounds in parliamentary expenses as an “abuse of taxpayers’ money”.
However, a Labour source accused the Tories of hypocrisy, pointing to Nadine Dorries’s recent outing on I’m a Celebrity . . . Get me out of Here!. “David Cameron is such a weak leader that he couldn’t stop his MP abandoning her constituents and appearing in a reality TV show on the other side of the world,” he said.
Yesterday, Brown’s record provoked a mixed response among constituents in Kirkcaldy.
Carol Martin, 59, a charity shop worker, said: “He needs to be regularly voicing the concerns of the town to parliament. Are the amount of foreign trips [he takes] really necessary?”
Neil Campbell, 31, a bricklayer, said: “I really think he is doing all he can for the area and he has my support.”
Rampant Sexism (12 November 2012)
The Conservative MP for Mid-Befordshire - Nadine Dorries - swans off from the House of Commons for up to 30 days to take part in a celebrity TV programme - which is made in some remote part of Australia.
Result - she gets 'pelters' from all quarters and deservedly so - including from the Deputy Labour Leader - Harriet Harman - while standing in at Prime Minister's Questions (PMQs).
Ms Harman famous for her support of equalities issues even made a lame joke at Nadine's expense - something about the Tory MP having to deal with all kinds of snakes and toads - before she even arrived in the jungle.
So why is the row in the House of Commons so sexist?
Because lots of other MPs swan off when it suits them - including Harriet's Labour colleague and former Prime Minister - Gordon Brown.
Except Gordon is away from his day job for much more time than Nadine Dorries - 70 days a year (every year) in one job alone - at the New York University in Abu Dhabi, for example.
Yet no one says a word - or makes jokes at Prime Minister's Questions.
Maybe they'll start doing so now.
I certainly hope so because it would be a breath of fresh air - and thoroughly deserved.
Snake Oil Salesmen (21/02/16)
Two good reasons for voting Yes to Europe in the June referendum - a right pair of political chancers.
Bucket, Porridge, Farage (11/05/13)
| Porage or Porridge Oats |
I think Matthew Parris may just have stumbled upon Nigel's Achilles Heel - the use of humour to poke fun at people who behave in this ridiculously pompous way - instead of coming across all red faced, angry and po-faced.
Come to think of it, the 'Farridge versus Faraage' debacle may help to explain why UKIP has failed to ignite in Scotland - since we Scots are so generally very disapproving of people with affected airs and graces.
And in support my theory, I just remembered that I was at college and university with a chap called Neil Farage - and Farridge is how he and we pronounced his name. I wonder where he is now?
So if UKIP's poll ratings begin to drop like a heavy stone - remember, you heard it here first.
"Farage disparaged"
"A number of voices are this week calling the UKIP leader “Nigel Farridge”. This is to be encouraged. It is almost four years since, in this Diary column (September 10, 2009) I deplored Mr F’s poncified pronunciation of his own name, as in “massage” or “entourage” rather than the good old English forage, cribbage or cabbage. Like the way Hyacinth Bucket switched to Bouquet, and pretentious nitwits are now pronouncing “homage” as om-ahge.
And this from a professed Europhobe! Nigel Farage responded with good humour in our Letters column, confessing that his family name used to be pronounced and spelt “Farridge” — but that someone wrote “Farage” on a marriage certificate in 1890 and “Farage” it stayed. Mr F went on to accuse my ancestors of “Frenchifying” our own name, Parris, but this is the opposite of the truth: the double “r” distances us from Paris. Anyway, he concluded: “I suspect it is a little too late for rebranding.” Oh no it isn’t, Mr Farridge."
Snake Oil Salesman (14/09/14)
The Independent newspaper has given George Galloway a platform to share his views about Scottish independence, but because he has so little of substance to say the little man with a giant ego falls back on his trademark - the 'purple prose' which marks him out as the Ray Harryhausen of UK politics.
In this case George conjures up an image of Adolf Hitler and Nazi Germany in support of his argument four a No vote in the referendum, as if the politics of fascism have any relevance to the debate about whether Scotland should become an independent country.
But in his inimitable way George goes on to talk nonsense, for example his assertion that Scotland has 'decisively fallen out of love with New Labour' when the truth is that north of the border New Labour never gained much traction in the first place.
The reality is that Scottish Labour has fallen between two stools, never quite standing up for its Old Labour values or embracing the 'modernising' New Labour programme of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown which came to the fore after 18 consecutive years of Conservative rule at Westminster.
The SNP has exploited Scottish Labour's ambivalence to New Labour ruthlessly and very effectively, stealing the party's clothes and moving to the political left, so much so that Scottish Labour is now regarded as neither fish nor fowl.
And that has been the case for years as Scottish Labour has bones through an amazing number of leaders: Donald Dewar, Henry McLeish, Jack McConnell, Wendy Alexander, Iain Gray and now Johann Lamont - the latter having voted against Scottish devolution in 1979 before going on to become an MSP in the Scottish Parliament in 1999.
The other point George gets badly wrong is to blame the Tory bogeyman for the decision not to have a second 'Devo Max' question on the independence ballot paper because this ridiculous position was supported by all of the Westminster based UK parties at the time - including Labour and the Lib Dems.
So if you ask me, George, a politician who supports self-determination around the world yet not in Scotland, doesn't know what he's talking about which is why he failed to be elected to the Scottish Parliament in 2011 having been roundly rejected by the voters of Glasgow who can see through his 'snake oil salesman' political pitch.
