Off The Peg Excuses


I enjoyed this spoof statement from Private Eye - to be dusted down and used by anyone caught up in an embarrassing sex scandal - in this case the BBC,Liberal Democrats and the Catholic Church.

That all-purpose sex pest statement in full

"At no time were senior figures in the BBC/The Liberal Democracts/The Catholic Church made aware of specific allegations of sexual misconduct against anyone.

Natuirally, the BBC/The Catholic Church/The Liberal Democrats take such allegations seriously, but while this broadcaster/priest/politician strenuously denies any wrongdoing has taken place, we are inm no position to pre-judge him/him/him before all the facts are known and we can consult a PR man/lawyer/accountant.

A very expensive internal inquiry will be conducted and headed by a very respected independent stooge/friend/crony who will hopefully kick this story down the road/into the long grass/into the twelfth of never."

Now that just about sums things up - don't you think?

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