Beastie Boy

The Independent reports on the bust-up which took place in the House of Commons the other day over one of the most important issues facing the country's MPs - who gets to sit where on the green benches. 

For some reason Labour's Dennis Skinner seems to think he had first choice over the new arrivals on the basis that he's been going back and forwards to the Westminster Parliament for 45 years.

To make matters worse, the 'Beast of Bolsover' as Dennis used to be known then used an ageist argument in favour of his demand for special treatment by saying: "Are you going to have a fight with two 83-year old men?" 

Now I don't think the seating arrangements in the House of Commons are worth fighting about, but I am amazed that 83-year old Dennis has been re-selected by Labour for another 5-year Parliament when what the party really needs is some new blood and fresh thinking.

MPs like Dennis and the even older 84-year old Gerald Kaufman have had a good innings as they say and it's time they moved over and gave someone else a chance.   


Andy McSmith's Diary: Who would dare deprive Dennis Skinner of his seat?



Spotting that a tiny fragment of the very end of the bench was not filled, Skinner planted himself there, defying the SNP to push him off

By ANDY MCSMITH - The Independent

The timeless ceremony of the re-election of the Speaker was nearly disrupted by MPs squabbling over front row seats. Scottish Nationalist MPs were determined that the SNP’s new status as the third-biggest party in the Commons would be recognised in the seating arrangements. Normally, MPs can reserve seats by placing what is known as a “prayer card” in a slot in the bench – but this was the one day in five years when, by a quirk, that rule did not apply. The only way to bag a seat was to sit on it.

Early in the morning, therefore, a squad of SNP MPs rounded up by their chief whip, Pete Wishart, were under orders to keep their posteriors fixed on the opposition front bench. In so doing, they breached one formal rule and an unofficial convention. The official rule is that there is a place on the front bench next to the dividing aisle reserved for the Chief Whip from the official opposition – ie Labour. When a Scottish Nationalist occupied it, the Serjeant at Arms told him to move.

The unofficial rule is that the place immediately across the aisle from the Chief Whip is where Dennis Skinner has sat, every business day since he was first elected in 1970, but when Skinner arrived, his place was taken. “I’ve been here 45 years,” he exclaimed indignantly. “That’s 44 years too long,” came the riposte.

But Skinner is not easily put off. Spotting that a tiny fragment of the very end of the bench was not filled, he planted himself there, defying the SNP to push him off. Soon politeness prevailed and they moved up – but then came another problem: the Father of the House, Sir Gerald Kaufman, had finished presiding over the ceremonial re-election of the Speaker and, needing somewhere to sit, hobbled towards the same crowded corner, with over 600 MPs and dozens of visitors looking on.

Skinner then turned to the MP next to him, the gigantic but gentle MP for Dundee West, Chris Law, and said; “Are you going to have a fight with two 83 year old men?”

“You’re not 83!” said Law.

“I bloody am!” said Skinner – who, by the way, had understated Kaufman’s age by a year.

The SNP contingent moved up a few inches, and the two old men of a combined age of 167 were able to sit comfortably.

Mr Wishart has vowed that the battle of the front bench will continue until the Scottish Nationalists get the recognition he thinks they deserve.

Ukip united at last?

Tweet of the day: “Looking forward to meeting of Ukip parliamentary party on 20 May. Thinking of pitching to be Chief Whip....” Douglas Carswell, Ukip’s only MP, looks forward to meeting himself.

Heads of state

“The historians here will know that seven Speakers lost their heads for championing the Commons against the executive, something that we hope is no longer necessary,” Jacob Rees-Mogg claimed in his speech proposing the re-election of John Bercow. It was a slight rewriting of history.

Seven speakers were indeed beheaded between 1399 and 1535 – one for being a courtier of the usurped King Richard II, one dispatched by a furious London mob, two who were on the losing side in the Wars of the Roses, and three who fell foul of Henry VIII. But whether any one of them was a martyr in the cause of parliamentary democracy is questionable.

Secret delusions of an MP

Michael Fabricant, MP for Lichfield, who wrote The Independent’s “Secret diary of an MP” during the election campaign, has never been a minister, though he was vice-chairman of the Conservative Party before being sacked for his indiscreet use of social media.

He is also a vociferous opponent of HS2, to which the government is committed. The Lichfield Live website quote him as saying that, on being re-elected this month, “I told David and his senior officials that I did not want to be considered for a Cabinet position.” The Prime Minister must have been so disappointed.