Social Attitudes
Now it's hard to believe that religious people could behave with such cruelty towards young mothers and their children.
But it's another sign of just how much the secular world has civilised and tamed organised religion, so much so that the Catholic Church (nor any other for that matter) could now punish people in this way.
In other words, social attitudes have changed but in spite of not because of the church.
Mari Tatlow-Steed speaks of childhood in Sacred Heart mother and baby home
Do yourself a favour, go and see 'Philomena' at the cinema this week - it's a tale about ordinary people doing unbelievably cruel things in the name of their religion.
In this case it's the Catholic Church and, in particular, the nuns of the holy order of the Sacred Cross into whose 'care' a young and heavily pregnant Philomena Lee is placed - after a one night stand at local fairground.
For her 'sins', Philomena is forced to work in the convent's laundry for seven days a week and allowed to see her young son Anthony for just one hour a day - and if she completes four years, Philomena and other young girls like her are told they will be free to go - having paid their dues.
Otherwise they can buy their freedom at the cost of £1,000 which would have been an impossibly large sum of money (the price of a house) - back in the 1950s when the start of the movie is set.
But before Philomena does her four year stint, young Anthony is taken away one day after a visit to the convent by a wealthy couple - and is never seen again by his distraught mother who is powerless to do anything other than to watch her son being led away by the nuns and his new adoptive parents.
The rest of the story is played out in modern times when fifty years later, Philomena finally shares her terrible pain and secret with her daughter which leads to a meeting with a chap named Martin Sixsmith - a former BBC journalist and Labour Party spin doctor who is feeling very sorry for himself having been recently sacked from his government job.
Yet as Philomena later tells Martin - his loss is her gain and the two people strike up an unlikely friendship as they set off to try and discover what happened to little Anthony all those years ago.
Judy Dench plays Philomena with unflinching honesty and Steve Coogan matches her with his sardonic portrayal of Martin Sixsmith who knows not - at the time at least - that his new life is probably the best thing that ever happened to him.
After being rebuffed by the Catholic Church and nuns at the Sacred Cross Convent in Ireland - the search for Anthony takes the odd couple to Washington DC in America where what is an unbelievably sad tale is leavened by lots of laugh out loud humour, as Philomena helps Martin to look at himself in the mirror - which he does while questioning Philomena's commitment to her religious faith.
Almost without warning, the terrible truth about Anthony spills out on a computer screen - he died eight years before Philomena's arrival in America where he had become a respected and highly successful lawyer whom, incredibly, Martin Sixsmith had met briefly on a previous BBC visit to Washington DC.
Philomena is completely crushed by the news, her worst fears come true, yet she summons the strength to go on and find out about Anthony's life and times in America - where he has grown up as Michael and enjoyed a life that Philomena could never have given him - a thought with which she consoles herself.
Anthony (Michael) turns out to have been gay and to have been in a loving relationship with his partner (Pete) before dying of AIDS - but she shares the joy and sorrow of her son's life and death before Pete drops the bombshell that Anthony's final wish was to be buried at the Sacred Cross Convent where he was born - and Philomena takes that as a sign that her son had never forgotten his real mother even though they had never met.
The pair head back to Ireland where Martin Sixsmith confronts the dessicated old nun - Sister Hildegard - whose cruelty has damaged so many lives - and the final scenes of the film are handled with great sensitivity without sparing any of the raw emotions involved.
But don't take my word for it - go and see it for yourself because I doubt you'll see a better, more honest movie this year.
The unmarked grave is in the grounds of a home which was run by the Catholic Church
Mari Tatlow-Steed lives in Philadelphia, but was born at the Bessborough home run by Sacred Heart sisters in County Cork.
She said there were two categories of children in the home.
"Children that were earmarked to go over to the United States for adoption or even remain in Ireland, we were fattened up, we were given the better food," she said.
'Neglect'
"And I have no doubt there were probably children who might have had difficulties when they were born, congenital problems, weaknesses whatever it may be, that the nuns just decided, 'well we know this one is not going to be earmarked for adoption', so they're not going to get the same level of decent care."
She described it as a form of "benign neglect".
"They (nuns) felt these children were not going to thrive or be as marketable, 'well, we're just not going to spend as much effort or time'," she said.
When Mari was 18 and became a mother herself, it prompted her to begin a search for her own mother.
When mother and daughter were later re-united, she found out that her own mother had been born out of wedlock.
"She was not unusual, she would not have certainly been alone in this, but she had gone through the industrial school system because at the time she was born there was no legal adoption, so there weren't too many options for children," she recalled.
"She spent 10 years in a Magdalene laundry and then was sent out, got a job in Dublin, unfortunately became pregnant and they sent her right back down to the mother and baby home in Cork."
Mari said her mother had been under "no illusions" about her situation.
"She knew there was no way they were going to let her keep her baby, as much as she wanted to, it just wasn't going to happen," she said.
'Turning point'
"The only thing she could hold out and hope for is 'I hope she gets a good family in America', which was what happened."
Mari said the recent revelations that the bodies of nearly 800 children had been found near a mother and baby home in a disused septic tank in County Galway might just be a "turning point".
"All of the mother and baby homes, these were institutions that were regulated and inspected by the state, they received capitation grants from the state, but they were run by the religious orders so this very much is a two-pronged thing and both parties, I think, are going to have to take responsibility for it," she said.
"We've been trying to, pardon the expression, but whittle away at the scabs for some years now."
She said she supported calls for an investigation into the deaths.
"This goes well beyond just looking at properties where there may be mass graves and recognising they're dealing with deceased babies or women, mothers who might have died," she said.
"It's the whole system. How it operated, who got better care, how were we cared for? All those questions need to be answered."
Mari Tatlow-Steed lives in Philadelphia, but was born at the Bessborough home run by Sacred Heart sisters in County Cork.
She said there were two categories of children in the home.
"Children that were earmarked to go over to the United States for adoption or even remain in Ireland, we were fattened up, we were given the better food," she said.
'Neglect'
"And I have no doubt there were probably children who might have had difficulties when they were born, congenital problems, weaknesses whatever it may be, that the nuns just decided, 'well we know this one is not going to be earmarked for adoption', so they're not going to get the same level of decent care."
She described it as a form of "benign neglect".
"They (nuns) felt these children were not going to thrive or be as marketable, 'well, we're just not going to spend as much effort or time'," she said.
When Mari was 18 and became a mother herself, it prompted her to begin a search for her own mother.
When mother and daughter were later re-united, she found out that her own mother had been born out of wedlock.
"She was not unusual, she would not have certainly been alone in this, but she had gone through the industrial school system because at the time she was born there was no legal adoption, so there weren't too many options for children," she recalled.
"She spent 10 years in a Magdalene laundry and then was sent out, got a job in Dublin, unfortunately became pregnant and they sent her right back down to the mother and baby home in Cork."
Mari said her mother had been under "no illusions" about her situation.
"She knew there was no way they were going to let her keep her baby, as much as she wanted to, it just wasn't going to happen," she said.
'Turning point'
"The only thing she could hold out and hope for is 'I hope she gets a good family in America', which was what happened."
Mari said the recent revelations that the bodies of nearly 800 children had been found near a mother and baby home in a disused septic tank in County Galway might just be a "turning point".
"All of the mother and baby homes, these were institutions that were regulated and inspected by the state, they received capitation grants from the state, but they were run by the religious orders so this very much is a two-pronged thing and both parties, I think, are going to have to take responsibility for it," she said.
"We've been trying to, pardon the expression, but whittle away at the scabs for some years now."
She said she supported calls for an investigation into the deaths.
"This goes well beyond just looking at properties where there may be mass graves and recognising they're dealing with deceased babies or women, mothers who might have died," she said.
"It's the whole system. How it operated, who got better care, how were we cared for? All those questions need to be answered."
Philomena (6 November 2013)
Do yourself a favour, go and see 'Philomena' at the cinema this week - it's a tale about ordinary people doing unbelievably cruel things in the name of their religion.
In this case it's the Catholic Church and, in particular, the nuns of the holy order of the Sacred Cross into whose 'care' a young and heavily pregnant Philomena Lee is placed - after a one night stand at local fairground.
For her 'sins', Philomena is forced to work in the convent's laundry for seven days a week and allowed to see her young son Anthony for just one hour a day - and if she completes four years, Philomena and other young girls like her are told they will be free to go - having paid their dues.
Otherwise they can buy their freedom at the cost of £1,000 which would have been an impossibly large sum of money (the price of a house) - back in the 1950s when the start of the movie is set.
But before Philomena does her four year stint, young Anthony is taken away one day after a visit to the convent by a wealthy couple - and is never seen again by his distraught mother who is powerless to do anything other than to watch her son being led away by the nuns and his new adoptive parents.
The rest of the story is played out in modern times when fifty years later, Philomena finally shares her terrible pain and secret with her daughter which leads to a meeting with a chap named Martin Sixsmith - a former BBC journalist and Labour Party spin doctor who is feeling very sorry for himself having been recently sacked from his government job.
Yet as Philomena later tells Martin - his loss is her gain and the two people strike up an unlikely friendship as they set off to try and discover what happened to little Anthony all those years ago.
Judy Dench plays Philomena with unflinching honesty and Steve Coogan matches her with his sardonic portrayal of Martin Sixsmith who knows not - at the time at least - that his new life is probably the best thing that ever happened to him.
After being rebuffed by the Catholic Church and nuns at the Sacred Cross Convent in Ireland - the search for Anthony takes the odd couple to Washington DC in America where what is an unbelievably sad tale is leavened by lots of laugh out loud humour, as Philomena helps Martin to look at himself in the mirror - which he does while questioning Philomena's commitment to her religious faith.
Almost without warning, the terrible truth about Anthony spills out on a computer screen - he died eight years before Philomena's arrival in America where he had become a respected and highly successful lawyer whom, incredibly, Martin Sixsmith had met briefly on a previous BBC visit to Washington DC.
Philomena is completely crushed by the news, her worst fears come true, yet she summons the strength to go on and find out about Anthony's life and times in America - where he has grown up as Michael and enjoyed a life that Philomena could never have given him - a thought with which she consoles herself.
Anthony (Michael) turns out to have been gay and to have been in a loving relationship with his partner (Pete) before dying of AIDS - but she shares the joy and sorrow of her son's life and death before Pete drops the bombshell that Anthony's final wish was to be buried at the Sacred Cross Convent where he was born - and Philomena takes that as a sign that her son had never forgotten his real mother even though they had never met.
The pair head back to Ireland where Martin Sixsmith confronts the dessicated old nun - Sister Hildegard - whose cruelty has damaged so many lives - and the final scenes of the film are handled with great sensitivity without sparing any of the raw emotions involved.
But don't take my word for it - go and see it for yourself because I doubt you'll see a better, more honest movie this year.
