Every Home Should Have One
But I think they may be on to something because eagle owls are apparently 'just the ticket' for scaring the shit out of seagulls.
So this is one Labour policy that I can support without a moment's hesitation and The Independent picked up on the issue with this cartoon depicting Ed Miliband as an owl.
Glasgow is an amazing place.
No sooner have I asked my fellow citizens for help in tackling the gull menace than a helpful reader responds with a link to The Trap Man.
Now this enterprising chap has a host of fearsome bird 'decoys' - including a Large Eagle Owl.
A ferocious raptor by all accounts which can be used to put the wind up some of our other feathered friends including alien intruders such as the 'town gull'
Here's what the Trap Man has to say - I'm so excited I can hardly wait - I think I'll buy one as a birthday present to myself.
Let's just hope I don't get covered by a mountain gull 'guano' when fixing the damn thing into place!
"Large Eagle Owl"
"How do I stop starlings and pigeons dropping their load over my prized car when I park it on the drive?
The Trap Man Large Owl Decoy - this Large Eagle Owl Decoy will scare off the most reluctant bird squatters.
Manufactured from plastic The Trap Man Large Eagle Owl Decoy resembles a main predatory bird of feral pigeons, starlings, and gulls, when placed on close proximity to the roosting site it scares off would-be squatters.
Approximately 20" tall and less than one kilo in weight
Plastic OWL decoy: £22.99
Product Code: OWL
Quantity: in stock
Product: Six Plastic Owl decoys £124.99
Product Code: OWL six
Quantity: in stock
Many people prefer to scare birds away,. The most common way of doing this is by positioning decoy birds of prey on the building. The results by using this method vary. Some find that their problem is solved immediately and the birds never come back, others find a small reduction in bird numbers.
Correct positioning is essential to success and turning once a week does seem to give better results."
Fantastic - the decoy even comes with handy product codes such as OWL and OWL six to help mere novices such as me.
And you even get a discount for buying in bulk.
Are you listening, Glasgow City Council?
No Sooner Said (10 September 2011)
Glasgow is an amazing place.
No sooner have I asked my fellow citizens for help in tackling the gull menace than a helpful reader responds with a link to The Trap Man.
Now this enterprising chap has a host of fearsome bird 'decoys' - including a Large Eagle Owl.
A ferocious raptor by all accounts which can be used to put the wind up some of our other feathered friends including alien intruders such as the 'town gull'
Here's what the Trap Man has to say - I'm so excited I can hardly wait - I think I'll buy one as a birthday present to myself.
Let's just hope I don't get covered by a mountain gull 'guano' when fixing the damn thing into place!
"Large Eagle Owl"
"How do I stop starlings and pigeons dropping their load over my prized car when I park it on the drive?
The Trap Man Large Owl Decoy - this Large Eagle Owl Decoy will scare off the most reluctant bird squatters.
Manufactured from plastic The Trap Man Large Eagle Owl Decoy resembles a main predatory bird of feral pigeons, starlings, and gulls, when placed on close proximity to the roosting site it scares off would-be squatters.
Approximately 20" tall and less than one kilo in weight
Plastic OWL decoy: £22.99
Product Code: OWL
Quantity: in stock
Product: Six Plastic Owl decoys £124.99
Product Code: OWL six
Quantity: in stock
Many people prefer to scare birds away,. The most common way of doing this is by positioning decoy birds of prey on the building. The results by using this method vary. Some find that their problem is solved immediately and the birds never come back, others find a small reduction in bird numbers.
Correct positioning is essential to success and turning once a week does seem to give better results."
Fantastic - the decoy even comes with handy product codes such as OWL and OWL six to help mere novices such as me.
And you even get a discount for buying in bulk.
Are you listening, Glasgow City Council?
Seagulls Don't Drink or Smoke (22 July 2011)
Seagulls are my least favourite creatures in the world - by a mile.
To my mind they are the vermin of the skies - and for the life of me I can't understand why they are a protected species.
Now my grievances against gulls are many, varied and deeply held - so let's get a few of their worst characteristics on the record.
Seagulls are highly aggressive, territorial birds that live in towns and cities these days - they make their living by plundering people's rubbish - and by robbing their smaller avian cousins such as magpies.
Seagulls are not possessed of a lovely call or birdsong - instead they squawk and screech raucously - at all hours of the day and night - and without any regard to their neighbours or the noise pollution by-laws.
Worse still - if they have a chick - the ugly, fledgling bird follows its parents around for weeks on end - whistling incessantly as it begs for food.
In Glasgow these foul creatures spread rubbish everywhere littering the streets - crapping on everyone as the go - and seem to live on a diet of chips and half-eaten kebabs.
But they don't drink or smoke - as far as I can tell - so maybe that's the secret of their longevity and success.
As soon as I become Prime Minister - or even the leader of Glasgow City Council - I am going to campaign for a new law to rid us of these pests.
In a humane fashion of course - even though the demons inside me want to exact a terrible revenge.
What's needed is a policy and plan for removing their eggs - replacing them with false eggs - because the birds are too stupid to know any different.
And before you know it - a whole generation or two of gulls get wiped out - and peace and calm is restored to our city centres.
To my mind they are the vermin of the skies - and for the life of me I can't understand why they are a protected species.
Now my grievances against gulls are many, varied and deeply held - so let's get a few of their worst characteristics on the record.
Seagulls are highly aggressive, territorial birds that live in towns and cities these days - they make their living by plundering people's rubbish - and by robbing their smaller avian cousins such as magpies.
Seagulls are not possessed of a lovely call or birdsong - instead they squawk and screech raucously - at all hours of the day and night - and without any regard to their neighbours or the noise pollution by-laws.
Worse still - if they have a chick - the ugly, fledgling bird follows its parents around for weeks on end - whistling incessantly as it begs for food.
In Glasgow these foul creatures spread rubbish everywhere littering the streets - crapping on everyone as the go - and seem to live on a diet of chips and half-eaten kebabs.
But they don't drink or smoke - as far as I can tell - so maybe that's the secret of their longevity and success.
As soon as I become Prime Minister - or even the leader of Glasgow City Council - I am going to campaign for a new law to rid us of these pests.
In a humane fashion of course - even though the demons inside me want to exact a terrible revenge.
What's needed is a policy and plan for removing their eggs - replacing them with false eggs - because the birds are too stupid to know any different.
And before you know it - a whole generation or two of gulls get wiped out - and peace and calm is restored to our city centres.
Fookin' Seagulls
I published an article from the Hidden Glasgow web site recently - which had some interesting, if somewhat restrained, things to say about the menace of urban seagulls.
See post dated 6 August 2011 - 'No Mean City'.
But this article also had a number of readers' comments - which made me laugh my head off at the time - and help illustrate why Glasgow is such a funny, crazy place to live.
Even though the city has more than its fair share of seagulls.
Remember - the context of the 'discussion' is how to get rid of these killer birds.
Re: Fookin seagulls
by crazygray23
purchase a bird of prey, seagulls are scared shitless by them.
Re: Fookin seagulls
by Doorstop
Yeah, I'm popping out to ASDA this morning for a spare Eagle, a replacement Buzzard and a half a pound of Sparrowhawk.
Re: Fookin seagulls
by Reenie Bujman
I'm going to dress up as Wile E. Coyote and use a giant Acme vacuum cleaner to hoover them out of the sky.
(It's quiet on the ward this morning...)
See post dated 6 August 2011 - 'No Mean City'.
But this article also had a number of readers' comments - which made me laugh my head off at the time - and help illustrate why Glasgow is such a funny, crazy place to live.
Even though the city has more than its fair share of seagulls.
Remember - the context of the 'discussion' is how to get rid of these killer birds.
Re: Fookin seagulls
by crazygray23
purchase a bird of prey, seagulls are scared shitless by them.
Re: Fookin seagulls
by Doorstop
Yeah, I'm popping out to ASDA this morning for a spare Eagle, a replacement Buzzard and a half a pound of Sparrowhawk.
Re: Fookin seagulls
by Reenie Bujman
I'm going to dress up as Wile E. Coyote and use a giant Acme vacuum cleaner to hoover them out of the sky.
(It's quiet on the ward this morning...)
