Dropping the Ball

Even the Labour friendly Guardian newspaper couldn't ignore Ed Miliband's woeful performance at Prime Minister's Questions in Westminster the other day - here's John Crace's take on how the Labour leader droop the ball in front of a wide open goal.

Ed Miliband drops the ball when faced with a Coulson-shaped open goal

Labour benches hoping for a strike were left disappointed at Prime Minister's Questions


By John Crace - The Guardian

David Cameron couldn't believe his luck today. Photograph: ELM/Rex Features

We'd already had the apology. Possibly a little more genuine than Maria Miller's, but not much longer. At prime minister's questions the Labourbenches were counting on Ed Miliband to tease an explanation fromDavid Cameron about his appointment of Andy Coulson as Conservative party and No 10 press secretary. "Come on, Dave. The trial's over and you're among friends now. You know and we know Andy's big attraction was his links to News International. Why don't you just admit it so we can move on and you can go riding in the Cotswolds on Raisa the police horse?"

Miliband began as if he'd just had a half-hour pep talk from Roy Hodgson. He also adopted the England manager's tactical rigidity by basically asking the same question about whether the prime minister had ignored warnings about Coulson's illegal activities in a different way over and over again. "On the 8 July, 2009 …" "In May 2010 …"

It was meant to be forensic, but it just made him sound like the nerd so many Labour supporters fear he really is. This wasn't a moment for finesse: swatting away inconvenient details is a training-ground exercise for Cameron. This was the time for Miliband to leap across the dispatch box with the ferocity of Luis Suárez and sink his teeth deep into the wounded prime minister's back.

Cameron couldn't believe his luck. "There are three of us in this PMQs," he said, so demurely it was unspoken, his eyelids flickering limpidly with the extreme emotional pain he felt at the entirely unexpected conviction of his former best friend who hadn't been his best friend since his resignation. "You, me and Lord Justice Leveson." To underline the point, he held up a copy of the Leveson Report, which he sprinkled with holy water before hugging it tightly to his bosom. "Every single one of these questions was dealt with by the Leveson inquiry. He made no criticism of my conduct."

Surely now Miliband could unleash the legendary Iron Ed overbite? Er, no. "In September 2010 …" he said, battling strongly for an unsatisfactory 0-0 draw against the underdog that would eliminate him from the competition. The Labour backbenchers began to fall silent as Cameron continued to insist he couldn't possibly have known anything about anything because nobody had known anything about anything.

So what if there had been warning about Coulson in the Guardian? The editor of the Guardian hadn't personally told him about this story, so how could he or his staff have been expected to read it?

Only someone with a heart of stone could fail to have been moved by the piteous sight of a former News of the World editor and not be moved to give him a second chance. In any case he thought Coulson was only originally being taken on as a toilet attendant, so there was no need for developed vetting.

Miliband did finally get round to making the key point: Cameron's judgment had been deeply flawed in employing a crook in Downing Street. But it had been too little too late. He had missed the big picture. Leveson and vetting were side issues. What was at stake was the desperation of the prime minister to keep News International sweet. Coulson may have been convicted, but the prime minister had been allowed to walk. And if Cameron plays his cards right he may even be riding with Rebekah again by the weekend.