Tick Box Politics

Here's Dan Hodges take, in the Telegraph, on a 'big' speech about public service reform by the Labour leader, Ed Miliband. 

To say that Dan Hodges is unimpressed is a huge understatement and as a former Labour insider he demises the speech as 'tick box' politics.  

Apparently, in delivering the speech, Ed Miliband made great play of his previously unheard of admiration for Margaret Thatcher's determination and 'sense of purpose' in getting things done as one of the most divisive Prime Ministers in the UK's history.  

All of which reminds me of the bad old days of Labour spin because the thought of Ed Miliband as Margaret Thatcher strikes me as more than a little ridiculous. 

Tonight, Ed Miliband will tick boxes on public service reform. Then forget about it

By Dan Hodges Politics

Ed searches for some opinions

Ed Miliband has a number of qualities. I may not list them on this blog that often, but he does.

Want a banker bashed? Ed’s your man. Need someone to stand up and say something nasty about the British press? Ed Miliband should be top of your list. Looking for an articulate enunciation of the plight of the squeezed middle? You know who to call.

But if radical and far-reaching reform of Britain’s public services is what you’re after, then you need to look elsewhere. It really just isn’t Ed’s thing.

Which is why this evening Ed Miliband is going to be delivering a speech on this very subject. In fact, it’s going to be on “People Powered Public Services”. People Powered Public services. Someone sat in a real meeting and really said, “I know. We can call it People Powered Public Services”. And someone else said, “Brilliant. It alliterates and everything…”

Tonight’s address is going to be another of Miliband’s “tick-box” speeches. In a few month’s time we’ll get one on foreign affairs. And probably education.

“Tick-box speeches” are the speeches Labour’s leader gives on issues he has no interest in. Actually, that’s not entirely fair. He may find the subject quite interesting. But he has no intention of actually doing anything meaningful with it.

The trouble is that Ed Miliband wants to be prime minister. And as prime minister you’re supposed to care about these sorts of things. So Ed pretends. A few weeks ago he sat in a room with a couple of his aides, and one of them said, “We’re going to need to say something about public service reform”. And there was a bit of muttering, and rolling of eyes, and then Ed himself said something like: “No, come on, he’s right. It’s an important area. I’ve got to say something about it.” And so they all nodded, and someone went off and dreamt up People Powered Public Services.

Unfortunately, that’s just about all they came up with. Ed Miliband will say: “Clearly the next Labour government will face massive fiscal challenges, including having to cut spending.” But that’s just one of those tick-box phrases he likes to sneak into his tick-box speeches. He has this little throwaway line about cuts, but if anyone actually asks him what cuts he’s contemplating he refuses to answer. That’s because he doesn’t really mean it, and he secretly wants everyone to know he doesn’t really mean it.

So he’ll trot out the false line on cuts, and then he’ll say “information is power”, and promise to let you see your medical records. Then he’ll talk about “people power” a bit more, and announce that when you’ve taken a peek at your medical records he’ll put you in touch with other people who have the same condition.

“Blimey, apparently I’ve got gout.” “Gout? How do you know?” “Just looked at my medical records. Ed Miliband let me.” “Bloody hell. What are you going to do?” “I’m going to ask Ed Miliband to put me in touch with someone else who has gout”. “Makes sense. He’s a great reformer that Ed Miliband guy.”

Then Ed’s going to talk about David Blunkett and schools. David Blunkett is going to be put in charge of coming up with ideas for reform of education. So that Ed Miliband doesn’t have to bother doing it himself.

Actually Ed has got one proposal of his own, which is that parents will be able to monitor their child’s progress in school constantly throughout the year. But in practice that would mean continuous formal assessment, and when the teaching unions get to hear about it they will object. At which point Ed will quietly drop the plan. So in fact, you don’t need to bother about that bit.

Then finally Ed will talk a little bit about Jon Cruddas. Jon Cruddas is a sort of super-Blunkett. He’s the person Ed’s put in charge of doing all his thinking on the policy areas he has not interest in. So when he’s out in the street – or on one of those trains he so fond of getting – and someone says “Oi, Ed. What are you going to do about X?”, Ed looks at them, puts on his serious face, and says “I’m glad you asked me that. That’s a very important issue. That’s why I’ve asked Jon Cruddas to look into it. He’ll be reporting later this year”.

Jon Cruddas is always reporting later this year. But he never does. He’s basically Ed Miliband’s version of Vitalstatistix from the Asterix books. Vitalstatistix is only afraid of one thing – that the sky will fall on his head tomorrow. But fortunately, tomorrow never comes.

And that’s basically it. Ed Miliband’s big pubic service reform speech.

He’ll use the word “reform” a lot. He’ll talk about “vested interests” a bit. And “empowerment”.

And that will be it. Between now and polling day Ed Miliband will never mention public service reform again. Tick.