Dangerous Liaisons
Private Eye, the UK's best and only fortnightly satirical magazine, published a spoof diary from Valerie Trieweiler, the former First Lady of France who was dumped in the most unchivalrous fashion by the French President, François Hollande.
So Valerie took her revenge by publishing a 'kiss and tell' book which I haven't read I have to admit, but I presume it provides some of the inspiration for the Private Eye diary, so here's an extract.
DIARY
"How could I forget those first few years of passion with François. That once in a lifetime passion that devours everything.
I was a young journalist, so wide-eyed and unworldly that I was barely on my second marriage. He was the proud standard bearer of the Left, passionate about equality, liberty and fraternity, but whose life had taken a tragic turn for the worse after he unwittingly fathered four children but he cold, haughty Ségolène Royal.
So concerned was he with the poor and the oppressed that he realised too late that he had been trapped in a loveless union for the past fifteen years.
"It all started so innocently. Our friendship was purely professional. It was a hot summer's day when I asked François to my apartment to discuss climate change.
Passionate about energy conservation, I had long considered it my duty as a concerned citizen to save on air-conditioning by removing my clothes.
I would never have imagined that François would react the way that he did. With his razor-sharp intellect, he immediately comprehended the logic of my stance and hastily removed his clothes too.
"But shall I keep my motorcycle helmet on?"he whispered softly in my ear.
"Yes, François," I said. "But turn it the other way round. You look so much better that way."
Va Va Voom (5 August 2014)
The Sunday Times carried a funny story the other day about the increasingly bitter dispute in French politics between former President Nicolas Sarkozy and his socialist successor, Francois Hollande.
If the newspaper claims are to be believed, Nicolas Sarkozy is having fun poking fun at his rival's dull bank manager image by arranging to have an eye catching photo of himself and his rock star girlfriend, Carla Bruni, taken which then made its way on to the front cover of Paris Match.
Now that is funn
‘Lovebirds’ saddle up to deride Hollande
Sarkozy’s allies say it is an innocent holiday snap, but his scooter photo seems designed to taunt his rival, writes Matthew Campbell in Paris
Matthew Campbell - The Sunday Times
Flattering shots of Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni
THE former French president and his wife make a glamorous and apparently carefree pair with the wind in their hair on the back of a scooter.
Things are not quite what they seem, however: Nicolas Sarkozy is suspected of choreographing the photograph of him and Carla Bruni in an increasingly bitter and personal quest for revenge against François Hollande, his Socialist successor.
An unusual sequence of events has elevated the humble scooter to a political symbol: Hollande was heaped with ridicule earlier this year when photographed wearing a suit and a motorbike helmet on the back of a scooter, a three-wheeler driven by a bodyguard, after a tryst with his lover, Julie Gayet, an actress.
Sarkozy, by contrast, is seen at the controls of a stylish blue Vespa. He looks tanned and relaxed in his white shirt and designer shades. Bruni, displaying a shapely bare thigh, wraps her arms around him. Neither is wearing a helmet.
“Two lovebirds on holiday” was how a recent cover of Paris Match magazine, whose proprietor is a good friend of Sarkozy, summed up the flattering shot of the couple. For some media commentators it evoked the 1953 film Roman Holiday, which featured Gregory Peck, Audrey Hepburn and love on a Vespa.
The magazine said that it had photographed the couple on their way to a beach near Bruni’s family home at Cap Nègre on the Riviera, prompting accusations that they had broken the law by not wearing helmets.
THE former French president and his wife make a glamorous and apparently carefree pair with the wind in their hair on the back of a scooter.
Things are not quite what they seem, however: Nicolas Sarkozy is suspected of choreographing the photograph of him and Carla Bruni in an increasingly bitter and personal quest for revenge against François Hollande, his Socialist successor.
An unusual sequence of events has elevated the humble scooter to a political symbol: Hollande was heaped with ridicule earlier this year when photographed wearing a suit and a motorbike helmet on the back of a scooter, a three-wheeler driven by a bodyguard, after a tryst with his lover, Julie Gayet, an actress.
Sarkozy, by contrast, is seen at the controls of a stylish blue Vespa. He looks tanned and relaxed in his white shirt and designer shades. Bruni, displaying a shapely bare thigh, wraps her arms around him. Neither is wearing a helmet.
“Two lovebirds on holiday” was how a recent cover of Paris Match magazine, whose proprietor is a good friend of Sarkozy, summed up the flattering shot of the couple. For some media commentators it evoked the 1953 film Roman Holiday, which featured Gregory Peck, Audrey Hepburn and love on a Vespa.
The magazine said that it had photographed the couple on their way to a beach near Bruni’s family home at Cap Nègre on the Riviera, prompting accusations that they had broken the law by not wearing helmets.
A less flattering shot of President Hollande
Some speculated, however, that the Vespa was stationary and in the grounds of the Bruni property when the picture was taken: unlike Hollande, Sarkozy is not known as a scooter fan and has never previously been photographed on one. He prefers riding a bicycle.
Even some of Sarkozy’s friends agreed that the picture was a case of carefully choreographed nose-thumbing at Hollande and evidence of how intensely personal the political battle has become for Sarkozy.
He suspects Hollande of being behind a judicial “witch-hunt” against him, of bringing pressure to bear on magistrates to investigate his campaign financing. It has resulted in his telephones being tapped as well as his humiliating arrest recently on charges of corruption and influence-peddling, an investigation that is likely to dog him for months and overshadow his effort to win back the presidency.
Last week Henri Guaino, his former speechwriter and an MP in his centre-right party, warned that Sarkozy was letting his grievance against Hollande — shared by Bruni, whose nickname for the president is “Penguin” — get the better of him.
Guaino called the scooter picture “disastrous” as it underlines the impression that Sarkozy has narrow “psychological reasons” for wanting to return to politics, motivated mainly by “his desire to do battle with Hollande”.
Sarkozy, for his part, did nothing to damp the impression of his being fixated on Hollande. He was quoted as having told an aide after the picture appeared in Paris Match: “I too drive a scooter. But I’m not a ridiculous president.”
In a curious twist the obsession may be mutual: before running for president, Hollande never hid his scorn for “President Bling-Bling”, accusing Sarkozy of cheapening the office with his glitzy girlfriends and taste for designer jewellery.
In office Hollande has gone to great lengths to undo most of the laws passed by his predecessor, styling himself the “anti-Sarkozy”.
By a cruel stroke of fate, however, Hollande has been unable to escape accusations that he has done as much as Sarkozy, the first president to divorce and remarry in office, to make a lurid public spectacle of the presidency.
After revelations about his love affair with Gayet, Valérie Trierweiler, his official girlfriend and “first lady”, was in hospital for a week with what was called an emotional breakdown. In a brief statement to a news agency, Hollande then dumped her.
Last week speculation was rampant about whether he and Gayet, who are said to have continued meeting secretly, will tie the knot.
It seems unlikely: the president has never previously shown any interest in marriage and lived for 29 years with Ségolène Royal, the mother of his four children, who is now a minister in his cabinet, without popping the question.
It had been rumoured that his 60th birthday on August 12 would be the date to make “official” his relationship with Gayet, who is said to have forsaken holidays this summer so as to remain close to Hollande in Paris. There were also suggestions that he might spend time with Gayet at her family’s chateau in southern France.
On Friday, however, it was reported that Hollande would be spending his birthday with his children at La Lanterne, the presidential chateau near Versailles. The paparazzi will no doubt be waiting outside in the hope of Gayet’s arrival.
Whatever the case, they are unlikely to catch the president again on his scooter.
Va Va Voom (13 January 2014)
Some speculated, however, that the Vespa was stationary and in the grounds of the Bruni property when the picture was taken: unlike Hollande, Sarkozy is not known as a scooter fan and has never previously been photographed on one. He prefers riding a bicycle.
Even some of Sarkozy’s friends agreed that the picture was a case of carefully choreographed nose-thumbing at Hollande and evidence of how intensely personal the political battle has become for Sarkozy.
He suspects Hollande of being behind a judicial “witch-hunt” against him, of bringing pressure to bear on magistrates to investigate his campaign financing. It has resulted in his telephones being tapped as well as his humiliating arrest recently on charges of corruption and influence-peddling, an investigation that is likely to dog him for months and overshadow his effort to win back the presidency.
Last week Henri Guaino, his former speechwriter and an MP in his centre-right party, warned that Sarkozy was letting his grievance against Hollande — shared by Bruni, whose nickname for the president is “Penguin” — get the better of him.
Guaino called the scooter picture “disastrous” as it underlines the impression that Sarkozy has narrow “psychological reasons” for wanting to return to politics, motivated mainly by “his desire to do battle with Hollande”.
Sarkozy, for his part, did nothing to damp the impression of his being fixated on Hollande. He was quoted as having told an aide after the picture appeared in Paris Match: “I too drive a scooter. But I’m not a ridiculous president.”
In a curious twist the obsession may be mutual: before running for president, Hollande never hid his scorn for “President Bling-Bling”, accusing Sarkozy of cheapening the office with his glitzy girlfriends and taste for designer jewellery.
In office Hollande has gone to great lengths to undo most of the laws passed by his predecessor, styling himself the “anti-Sarkozy”.
By a cruel stroke of fate, however, Hollande has been unable to escape accusations that he has done as much as Sarkozy, the first president to divorce and remarry in office, to make a lurid public spectacle of the presidency.
After revelations about his love affair with Gayet, Valérie Trierweiler, his official girlfriend and “first lady”, was in hospital for a week with what was called an emotional breakdown. In a brief statement to a news agency, Hollande then dumped her.
Last week speculation was rampant about whether he and Gayet, who are said to have continued meeting secretly, will tie the knot.
It seems unlikely: the president has never previously shown any interest in marriage and lived for 29 years with Ségolène Royal, the mother of his four children, who is now a minister in his cabinet, without popping the question.
It had been rumoured that his 60th birthday on August 12 would be the date to make “official” his relationship with Gayet, who is said to have forsaken holidays this summer so as to remain close to Hollande in Paris. There were also suggestions that he might spend time with Gayet at her family’s chateau in southern France.
On Friday, however, it was reported that Hollande would be spending his birthday with his children at La Lanterne, the presidential chateau near Versailles. The paparazzi will no doubt be waiting outside in the hope of Gayet’s arrival.
Whatever the case, they are unlikely to catch the president again on his scooter.
Va Va Voom (13 January 2014)
This Peter Brookes cartoon from the Times gets to the heart of the French President's trouser problems which are laid bare, so t speak, in this following report from the BBC.
But the sorry saga is more like something out of an episode of Benny Hill than Lady Chattereley's Lover, if you ask me.
Hollande Gayet: Scandal and the French president
This morning the French people were treated to dramatic pictures of their president, disguised by a black motorcycle helmet, being dropped off by scooter at the apartment of his alleged girlfriend.
Photos had been taken from an apartment across the street. There were timings of his comings and goings. Even his secret service bodyguard was noted delivering the morning croissants. The magazine Closer has seven pages detailing the visits to the building in the affluent eighth arrondissement.
The woman is Julie Gayet, a film actress and prominent supporter of Francois Hollande. She had gushed during the election campaign that "he was humble and a really good listener".
The apartment is no more than 300m (984ft) from the Elysee Palace, but the need for secrecy involved the head of state putting on a helmet and riding on the back of a scooter.
The president's office has reacted furiously. Francois Hollande, it is said, greatly deplores the invasion of his privacy, to which he has a right as any other French citizen. He is looking into the possibility of taking legal action. There was no denial of the story, however.
Very few French politicians have commented. Those who have spoken only underline the right of every citizen to privacy.
Later on Friday the managing editor of Closer, Laurence Pieau, said the magazine would remove from its website the feature about the Hollande-Gayet relationship, at the request of Julie Gayet's lawyers. No such request had been made concerning the print edition, she told AFP news agency,
Restrained reaction
What was interesting, on a brief visit to the street with the apartment, was the absence of media. French channels are wary of pursuing this story, in a country with strict laws on privacy. But the visit underlined a cultural difference between French and British society. A similar story in London would have led to the apartment being surrounded by reporters and cameras. A quick canvassing of street opinion was met by shrugs and the belief that the president was entitled to do what he likes.
The fact that the president has a live-in partner, Valerie Trierweiler, is regarded as a private matter. In recent months there has been speculation that his relationship with The First Girlfriend - as the Americans like to call her - has been under increasing strain.
Whatever the French attachment to privacy, however, there is a further risk to the president's authority. He has the lowest ratings of any president during the Fifth Republic.
Although France seems to have eked out some growth in the final quarter of 2013, the economy hovers close to recession. Unemployment - which the president asked to be judged by - remains stubbornly high at 11%. The country is often referred to as the Sick Man of Europe and other Europeans - in particular the Germans - say that France under Mr Hollande has failed to carry out meaningful reforms to restore its economy's competitiveness.
He campaigned as "Mr Normal" and there will be some who say his presidency lacks purpose, ambition and direction. That is a criticism, however, that cannot be applied to his handling of foreign affairs, where he has been bold and unafraid of using military intervention.
To be fair, Mr Hollande has changed some labour laws, making it easier to hire and fire workers and to reduce their pay and working hours during a downturn. But business leaders want a reduction in taxes and wholesale reform of welfare entitlements.Privacy debate
During the election campaign there was some criticism of the bad blood between Segolene Royal - his former partner and mother of his four children - and his current girlfriend Valerie Trierweiler. Some questioned why the president had not sorted out his private life before arriving in the Elysee Palace.
Some of that criticism will resurface. His critics used to refer to him as "Monsieur Flamby", a wobbly pudding. Some of those remarks may be dusted down, too.
But the French have a history of presidents with complicated private lives. President Mitterrand - Mr Hollande's mentor - had a secret family.
However much the French defend privacy, Closer magazine was sold out at many newsstands. It remains to be seen what the French really make of their president's lifestyle after hours.
Next Tuesday he gives his New Year press conference. It will be interesting whether he is asked about his alleged affair but, perhaps more importantly, whether he can relaunch his troubled presidency with some bold economic reforms.
This morning the French people were treated to dramatic pictures of their president, disguised by a black motorcycle helmet, being dropped off by scooter at the apartment of his alleged girlfriend.
Photos had been taken from an apartment across the street. There were timings of his comings and goings. Even his secret service bodyguard was noted delivering the morning croissants. The magazine Closer has seven pages detailing the visits to the building in the affluent eighth arrondissement.
The woman is Julie Gayet, a film actress and prominent supporter of Francois Hollande. She had gushed during the election campaign that "he was humble and a really good listener".
The apartment is no more than 300m (984ft) from the Elysee Palace, but the need for secrecy involved the head of state putting on a helmet and riding on the back of a scooter.
The president's office has reacted furiously. Francois Hollande, it is said, greatly deplores the invasion of his privacy, to which he has a right as any other French citizen. He is looking into the possibility of taking legal action. There was no denial of the story, however.
Very few French politicians have commented. Those who have spoken only underline the right of every citizen to privacy.
Later on Friday the managing editor of Closer, Laurence Pieau, said the magazine would remove from its website the feature about the Hollande-Gayet relationship, at the request of Julie Gayet's lawyers. No such request had been made concerning the print edition, she told AFP news agency,
Restrained reactionWhat was interesting, on a brief visit to the street with the apartment, was the absence of media. French channels are wary of pursuing this story, in a country with strict laws on privacy. But the visit underlined a cultural difference between French and British society. A similar story in London would have led to the apartment being surrounded by reporters and cameras. A quick canvassing of street opinion was met by shrugs and the belief that the president was entitled to do what he likes.
The fact that the president has a live-in partner, Valerie Trierweiler, is regarded as a private matter. In recent months there has been speculation that his relationship with The First Girlfriend - as the Americans like to call her - has been under increasing strain.
Whatever the French attachment to privacy, however, there is a further risk to the president's authority. He has the lowest ratings of any president during the Fifth Republic.
Although France seems to have eked out some growth in the final quarter of 2013, the economy hovers close to recession. Unemployment - which the president asked to be judged by - remains stubbornly high at 11%. The country is often referred to as the Sick Man of Europe and other Europeans - in particular the Germans - say that France under Mr Hollande has failed to carry out meaningful reforms to restore its economy's competitiveness.
He campaigned as "Mr Normal" and there will be some who say his presidency lacks purpose, ambition and direction. That is a criticism, however, that cannot be applied to his handling of foreign affairs, where he has been bold and unafraid of using military intervention.
To be fair, Mr Hollande has changed some labour laws, making it easier to hire and fire workers and to reduce their pay and working hours during a downturn. But business leaders want a reduction in taxes and wholesale reform of welfare entitlements.Privacy debate
During the election campaign there was some criticism of the bad blood between Segolene Royal - his former partner and mother of his four children - and his current girlfriend Valerie Trierweiler. Some questioned why the president had not sorted out his private life before arriving in the Elysee Palace.
Some of that criticism will resurface. His critics used to refer to him as "Monsieur Flamby", a wobbly pudding. Some of those remarks may be dusted down, too.
But the French have a history of presidents with complicated private lives. President Mitterrand - Mr Hollande's mentor - had a secret family.
However much the French defend privacy, Closer magazine was sold out at many newsstands. It remains to be seen what the French really make of their president's lifestyle after hours.
Next Tuesday he gives his New Year press conference. It will be interesting whether he is asked about his alleged affair but, perhaps more importantly, whether he can relaunch his troubled presidency with some bold economic reforms.
French privacy laws
- Among strictest in world - constitution says "everyone has the right to privacy"
- Publication of private details of someone's life without their consent is punishable offence
- French media often more cautious than in US or UK about private lives of politicians or celebrities
- Privacy laws helped late President Francois Mitterrand conceal existence of daughter Mazarine, whose mother was his mistress
- Main defences - right to freedom of expression and public interest (ie, how an official's behaviour may affect his/her work)
- Privacy debate was reignited by sex allegations about Dominique Strauss-Kahn, former IMF chief and a top Socialist politician
Gavin Hewitt
BBC, Europe Editor
