Seagulls Don't Drink Or Smoke!
Whatever else may be written about 'Seagull Gate' I wish to put on record the fact that I support anyone and everyone who is in favour of taking firm action against these foul pests - see posts below from the blog archive.
Seagulls Don't Drink Or Smoke (July 13, 2021)
Seagulls Don't Drink or Smoke (22/07/11)
Seagulls are my least favourite creatures in the world by a country mile.To my mind they are the vermin of the skies and for the life of me I can't understand why they are a protected species.
Now my grievances against gulls are many, varied and deeply held, so let's get a few of their worst characteristics on the record.
Seagulls are highly aggressive, territorial birds that live in towns and cities these days - they make their living by plundering people's rubbish and by robbing their smaller avian cousins such as magpies.
Seagulls are not possessed of a lovely call or birdsong, instead they squawk and screech raucously at all hours of the day and night and without any regard to their neighbours or the noise pollution by-laws.
Worse still if they have a chick, the ugly, fledgling bird follows its parents around for weeks on end whistling incessantly as it begs for food.
In Glasgow these foul creatures spread rubbish everywhere littering the streets crapping on everyone as the go and seem to live on a diet of chips and half-eaten kebabs.
But they don't drink or smoke, as far as I can tell, so maybe that's the secret of their longevity and success.
As soon as I become Prime Minister, or even the leader of Glasgow City Council, I am going to campaign for a new law to rid us of these pests.
In a humane fashion of course even though the demons inside me want to exact a terrible revenge.
What's needed is a policy and plan for removing their eggs replacing them with false eggs because the birds are too stupid to know any different.
Now my grievances against gulls are many, varied and deeply held, so let's get a few of their worst characteristics on the record.
Seagulls are highly aggressive, territorial birds that live in towns and cities these days - they make their living by plundering people's rubbish and by robbing their smaller avian cousins such as magpies.
Seagulls are not possessed of a lovely call or birdsong, instead they squawk and screech raucously at all hours of the day and night and without any regard to their neighbours or the noise pollution by-laws.
Worse still if they have a chick, the ugly, fledgling bird follows its parents around for weeks on end whistling incessantly as it begs for food.
In Glasgow these foul creatures spread rubbish everywhere littering the streets crapping on everyone as the go and seem to live on a diet of chips and half-eaten kebabs.
But they don't drink or smoke, as far as I can tell, so maybe that's the secret of their longevity and success.
As soon as I become Prime Minister, or even the leader of Glasgow City Council, I am going to campaign for a new law to rid us of these pests.
In a humane fashion of course even though the demons inside me want to exact a terrible revenge.
What's needed is a policy and plan for removing their eggs replacing them with false eggs because the birds are too stupid to know any different.
And before you know it a whole generation or two of gulls get wiped out and peace and calm is restored to our city centres.
http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/inothernews/15455576.Almost_200_gulls_shot_as_city_cracks_down/
