Fookin' Seagulls (10/09/11)



My campaign against the menace of the dreaded seagull in Glasgow - is finally ready to go to a new level.

I have two specific ideas - the first of which is to write to the leader of Glasgow City Council - Gordon Matheson - an inner city councillor whose seat I believe takes in the Merchant City.

So I imagine Councillor Matheson will be very familar with the problems caused by these 'towngull' alien invaders - and only too keen to help.

I hope so anyway.

Also I want to test this theory about seagulls being terrified of birds of prey.

But as the chap said recently on the Hidden Glasgow web site - hawks and golden eagles and suchlike don't exactly grow on trees - along the M8 corridor anyway.

In which case what we need is a dummy 'raptor' of some kind - not a real one - just one that looks suitably threatening.

Because seagulls are none too smart and probably won't notice the difference anyway.

So I am looking to pick people's brains.

Where in Glasgow would you find a big evil-looking plastic eagle or hawk - which can be used to test how the dreaded seagulls react - to having a deadly bird of prey in their midst?

All suggestions will be gratefully received - excepts ones that involve giant ACME vacuum cleaners - see post below dated 12 August 2011. 

Fookin' Seagulls (12/08/11)

I published an article from the Hidden Glasgow web site recently - which had some interesting, if somewhat restrained, things to say about the menace of urban seagulls.

See post dated 6 August 2011 - 'No Mean City'.

But this article also had a number of readers' comments - which made me laugh my head off at the time - and help illustrate why Glasgow is such a funny, crazy place to live.

Even though the city has more than its fair share of seagulls.

Remember - the context of the 'discussion' is how to get rid of these killer birds.

Re: Fookin seagulls

by crazygray23

purchase a bird of prey, seagulls are scared shitless by them.

Re: Fookin seagulls

by Doorstop

Yeah, I'm popping out to ASDA this morning for a spare Eagle, a replacement Buzzard and a half a pound of Sparrowhawk.

Re: Fookin seagulls

by Reenie Bujman

I'm going to dress up as Wile E. Coyote and use a giant Acme vacuum cleaner to hoover them out of the sky.

(It's quiet on the ward this morning...) 

Popular posts from this blog

Kentucky Fried Seagull

Hugh Fearnley Whitingstall is one of my favourite - and endearingly bonkers - TV chefs. The River Cottage chef has a some imaginative ideas for adding seagulls to the national diet - including a recipe for Kentucky Fried Seagull - would you believe. Here's what HFW has to say on the subjecy -  I think I'll contact Hugh - and ask if he'll join the TAPAS campaign. "Vermin with wings? Chicken of the sea? Or just an opportunity missed?" "First and foremost, before we all go on a mad seagull killing frenzy. In the U.K it is against the law to kill seagulls or interfere with their nests under the countryside and wildlife act. Some Councils are allowed to cull them however, and usually do this by either poisoning or shooting them. How to catch your seagull. Remember this is against the law in the U.K. I don't want the Men in Blue knocking at the door because someone said that Foodimum told them it was okay to catch and eat seagulls. It isn...
Read more

Can Anyone Be A Woman?

Image
"All we ask... is FULL RIGHTS as women" 🤡 The legal lunacy that led to the recent Tickle V Giggle judgement was fought for as far back as the 30s. The Trans Takeover of Womanhood - 100 Years of Madness premieres this eve at UK time 🍿 https://t.co/1nzx8gxNA3 #Womanhood … pic.twitter.com/cZOkBrKPof — MrMenno 🏳️‍🌈🎶 (@MrMennoTweets) October 2, 2024 Mr Menno's response to the absurd 'Trans Takeover of Womanhood' - is intelligent, well researched and hilarious into the bargain. A must watch!    
Read more