Fookin' Seagulls (10/09/11)



My campaign against the menace of the dreaded seagull in Glasgow - is finally ready to go to a new level.

I have two specific ideas - the first of which is to write to the leader of Glasgow City Council - Gordon Matheson - an inner city councillor whose seat I believe takes in the Merchant City.

So I imagine Councillor Matheson will be very familar with the problems caused by these 'towngull' alien invaders - and only too keen to help.

I hope so anyway.

Also I want to test this theory about seagulls being terrified of birds of prey.

But as the chap said recently on the Hidden Glasgow web site - hawks and golden eagles and suchlike don't exactly grow on trees - along the M8 corridor anyway.

In which case what we need is a dummy 'raptor' of some kind - not a real one - just one that looks suitably threatening.

Because seagulls are none too smart and probably won't notice the difference anyway.

So I am looking to pick people's brains.

Where in Glasgow would you find a big evil-looking plastic eagle or hawk - which can be used to test how the dreaded seagulls react - to having a deadly bird of prey in their midst?

All suggestions will be gratefully received - excepts ones that involve giant ACME vacuum cleaners - see post below dated 12 August 2011. 

Fookin' Seagulls (12/08/11)

I published an article from the Hidden Glasgow web site recently - which had some interesting, if somewhat restrained, things to say about the menace of urban seagulls.

See post dated 6 August 2011 - 'No Mean City'.

But this article also had a number of readers' comments - which made me laugh my head off at the time - and help illustrate why Glasgow is such a funny, crazy place to live.

Even though the city has more than its fair share of seagulls.

Remember - the context of the 'discussion' is how to get rid of these killer birds.

Re: Fookin seagulls

by crazygray23

purchase a bird of prey, seagulls are scared shitless by them.

Re: Fookin seagulls

by Doorstop

Yeah, I'm popping out to ASDA this morning for a spare Eagle, a replacement Buzzard and a half a pound of Sparrowhawk.

Re: Fookin seagulls

by Reenie Bujman

I'm going to dress up as Wile E. Coyote and use a giant Acme vacuum cleaner to hoover them out of the sky.

(It's quiet on the ward this morning...) 

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