Friday, 27 March 2020

Jeremy Corbyn - Labour's Biggest Loser

Matt Chorley uses his Red Box column in The Times to great effect by reminding us all that Jeremy Corbyn was a completely useless Labour leader.

Not only did Jezza fail to win two general elections, the Euro elections and the great Brexit referendum - Corbyn's only real claim to fame is that in December 2019 he led Labour to its worst electoral defeat since 1935.


Let the fizz explode as Corbyn steps aside

By Matt Chorley The Times

A little over four years ago . . . will you let me finish? A little over four years ago I started writing Red Box and the very first thing I wrote about . . . can I finish? If you’d just let me finish.

The first thing I wrote about in January 2016 was Jeremy Corbyn. And his neverending revenge reshuffle. And since then I have been opposed to all forms of reshuffles.

The reshuffle lasted days and days. In fact I’m not sure it ever ended. But at least he is now finished. Corbyn took part in his final prime minister’s questions yesterday, having performed some 150 times since his election as Labour leader back in 2015.

All of those who have endured the weekly tedium of his open-goal-dodging, emails from Doris in Derby who speaks only in Labour press release-ese, statements which weren’t questions, and stressing IN all THE wrong places now find themselves well-equipped for self-isolation. We have been trapped for what felt like hours with nothing decent to watch every Wednesday lunchtime for four and half years.

There was a frisson of excitement in the press gallery yesterday when three of Corbyn’s aides were kicked out by a doorkeeper for trying to take photos of the saintly one at the dispatch box. “Seumus I’m not sure this is a great idea.”

Down in the chamber, Boris Johnson rose to the occasion and managed to squeeze out some warm words of tribute “to him, his service to the party and indeed the country over the last four years in a very difficult job”.

Corbyn was slightly thrown by a Tory being nice to him, and said the PM was “talking as if it was some kind of obituary.” He insisted “my voice will not be stilled, I will be around”. Labour MPs inwardly groaned.

In his time as leader Corbyn has seen off three prime ministers, although they have managed the one thing he never did. Actually become PM.

Written off as a leftie beardie weirdie who could not win an election he proved us all wrong, by not winning the two.

He won over Twitter, Owen Jones and half of UB40, but in the end the mainstream electorate was biased against him.

So here, in no particular order and making no particular sense, are a collection of things Magic Grandpa which make me smile, because frankly we could do with it right now. As a wise man’s Twitter account once said after being hacked: “Here we . . . here we . . . here we f***ing go!!!”

Even before he became leader, Jeremy Bernard Corbyn was giving us gold. Asked during the 2015 leadership contest by MumsNet what his favourite biscuit was he said that he was trying to cut down sugar but if forced he would have shortbread. If forced? Who would force you to have shortbread? Unless you’ve been taken hostage by a Scottish terrorist. And he’s probably friends with them anyway.

Soon after becoming leader he broke all the rules: not singing the national anthem, refusing to press the nuclear button, opposing shoot-to-kill, raising doubts over the Falklands, backing flying pickets, suggesting negotiating with Isis and refusing to be any good.

Pressed on his own unpopularity he once replied: “I think we can spend too much time worrying about polls.”

On Brexit he was, to coin a phrase, present but not involved. During the referendum campaign he went on a walking holiday. He went on Channel 4’s Last Leg in a pimp’s fur coat and declared his enthusiasm for the EU to be “Seven, seven-and-a-half”.

This supposedly-devoted Remainer responded to the Leave vote the morning after the referendum by rushing on TV and declaring: “Article 50 has to be invoked now.”

Adopting five tests his own frontbench described as “bollocks”, he was dragged to to the idea of a second referendum before revealing he was the only person in Britain who was entirely neutral on what was then the biggest issue facing the country. (Oh for those days.)

Giving Russia the benefit of the doubt over the Salisbury poisonings. Giving Ken Livingstone the benefit of the doubt over, well, almost everything. Calling Theresa May “a stupid woman”.

His hooded coat at the cenotaph. His hat on Newsnight. His shellsuit on the streets of Islington. “When I go home every night, I put my tracksuit on. I feel very comfortable in it. You can do anything in a tracksuit. You can go out. It’s great! Although people round here make me stop going out in it.”

Of course in the 2017 election he defied all of the pundits who predicted he would lose by only losing by a bit less than they thought. And he celebrated with his fabulously misplaced high-five with Emily Thornberry.

Once challenged over why he couldn’t explain his own policy, he replied: “That’s why we have iPads.”

Mistakenly thinking that everyone at Glastonbury was there for him, and so organising LabourLive, which was just like Glastonbury except in every way, with less Stormzy and more Barry Gardiner.

The big marrow on his allotment. The jam-making. Signing apples with a gold pen. Going to the kebab awards and extolling the virtues of salad. Suggesting that he was “going through the process” of becoming a vegan but found it hard because he liked cheese.

The lieu days and afternoon naps. Grading all Labour MPs from “core to hostile”.

Telling parents who go to the school gate in their pyjamas: “I’d advise people to wear a coat and put some proper clothes on, it gets cold out there.” Filing his tax return late. Forgetting to mention that Iain Duncan Smith had quit the government, insisting that it was not “up to me to throw in other than a couple of lines about ‘the government’s in a mess’.”

Being constantly, endlessly baffled that journalists might want to ask questions of the man who wanted to be prime minister: “Thank you very much for invading my private space.” “You’re shouting questions at me. It’s quite rude”

Actually saying: “I think we need to examine this question in some detail and see if there is excessive profit-making by those who make Freddos – then they’ve got us to answer to.”

The mad schemes that never came off: giving a speech from a floating platform in the seas; projecting holograms of himself around the country; free broadband for all. (What we wouldn’t do for that right now.)

Calling for nuclear submarines without nuclear warheads. Likening Isis to Israel. Campaigning for the Labour leader to bring back a shadow cabinet minister for mental health when he was the Labour leader who abolished the post.

Paying tribute to a police officer who “lost his life”, who hadn’t died. Wishing good luck to the England football team with a quote from Bill Shankly, who was Scottish. Announcing a new bus policy on a tram. Sitting on the floor of a “ram-packed” train.

Making an ectoplasm jelly bath bomb. Appointing Pat Glass as shadow education secretary before she quit two days later. Attending a party celebrating Andy Burnham becoming mayor of Manchester, to which Burnham wasn’t invited.

Winning the argument, by coming up with ideas that were more popular when it wasn’t him extolling them.

Seeing his deputy quit on the eve of an election and writing to him: “I hope the horseradish plants I gave you thrive.”

This is a man who once said out loud: “Let us remember the incompetence we have been forced to endure.” Apparently under the impression that people would think of the government and not him.

Given what we are going through right now it seems wrong even to blow the cobwebs off the This. Is. Not. Normal. catchphrase. But it all began when I found myself having to explain that British Jews protesting outside parliament at antisemitism in the Labour Party was not normal.

A man who claimed to be a life-long anti-racist not knowing that that mural was racist was not normal.

The Chief Rabbi saying that a “new poison” had entered the party was not normal. The Jewish Labour Movement saying that the party was “no longer a safe space for Jewish people” was not normal. Some Labour MPs had the courage to say that enough was enough and walked out. They all lost their seats at the election, but they will always have the knowledge that when things really mattered they did what was right.

And now Corbyn leaves with the Labour Party still under investigation to see if it is institutionally racist. That, perhaps more than anything, should shame him and those around him, and those who supported the very idea of him becoming prime minister. But it won’t.

At the end of it all, what was the point? What did he achieve? As a long-standing Eurosceptic who wanted a massive expansion in the size of the state funded by huge government borrowing, and the nationalisation of the railways and private hospitals, he could look around now and think job done. Albeit, none of it actually down to him.

As this bizarre era comes to an end, I want to go back to a quote from the beginning. Nothing he has said or done since has managed to better sum up his leadership: superficially well-meaning, yet bafflingly meaningless.

In his very first conference speech as leader he told us, strong message here: “Let’s give them the space for that fizz to explode into the joy we want of a better society.”

For now. Finally. Jeremy Corbyn does not cling on. Obviously.


Labour's Worst Leader Ever(05/05/19)

Jeremy Corbyn refused to share a platform with other political parties opposed to Brexit during the great EU referendum in 2016.

Yet here's a Labour spokesperson confirming that Corbyn is working hard to 'bail out' a discredited Tory Government and deliver Brexit in 2019.

Against the clear will of the vast majority of Labour members and supporters who oppose Brexit and back a People's Vote on the final terms of any proposed deal.  

Gardiner: “We are in there trying to bail you guys out...”

Why? Most Labour members, voters, MPs, MEPs, unions etc. don’t want Brexit. So why the fuck are you trying to bail the Tories out?

WTF has happened to Labour?

1,377 people are talking about this

Labour's Worst Leader Ever (29/04/19)

Despite the mess of Brexit and turmoil in the Tory Party, Jeremy Corbyn still has a worse performance rating (at -65%) than Theresa May.

I imagine this has to do with the fact that Corbyn is still firmly pro-Brexit event though the vast majority of Labour members and supporters are Remainers - who back a democratic People's Vote on the final terms of any Brexit deal.


Worst Labour Leader Ever (11/11/18)

Jeremy Corbyn showed his true colours over Brexit with the following comment to Germany's Der Spiegel magazine:

"We can't stop it. The referendum took place. Article 50 has been triggered. What we can do is recognise the reasons why people voted Leave."

Now the day after the great EU referendum the Labour leader called for Article 50 to be triggered even though wiser heads (even Tory heads) counselled, at the time, that there was absolutely no need to rush headlong into difficult Brexit negotiations.

So it has proved and Jezza is quite wrong to say that Brexit can't be stopped or that Article 50 can't be revoked.

What a complete fool the man is the worst ever Labour leader. 


Corbyn's No Leader (30/09/19)

Morten Morland got the outcome of last week's Labour Party conference spot on with his cartoon in The Sunday Times.

Despite the fact that the vast majority of Labour party members are pro-Remain Jeremy Corbyn has decided not to adopt a position on Brexit ahead of the next general election.

Brexit is, of course, the biggest single issue facing the country in modern times, yet incredibly Jeremy Corbyn seems to think that leadership is about sitting on the fence.


Corbyn's No Leader (13/06/18)

Jeremy Corbyn is a firm believer in Labour party democracy - except when it doesn't suit his purpose or is ideological 'leftist' views.

Because while the great majority of Labour party members support a second referendum on the final terms of Brexit and remaining within the EU's Customs Union/Single Market - Jezza  says he knows better.

So while Jeremy babbles on about negotiating a deal with the EU which holds on to all the benefits of the Single Market and Customs Unions - at nil cost - no one really believes what he has to say.

A Conservative minister, Dr Phillip Lee, resigned yesterday in protest at the government's policy over Brexit and here's an extract of the reasons for his decision:

"Above all, I could not look my children in the face in 20 years’ time and try to explain why I did nothing when I knew that this government was taking the wrong course and sacrificing important principles of parliamentary sovereignty and human rights in the process.

"As I said in my resignation statement, if Brexit is worth doing it is worth doing well. I believe that the government needs to seek to suspend, delay or revoke Article 50 so that we do not leave before both we, and the European Union, are ready. It may be that the EU will reject this, but the indications I have had from European capitals are that they would welcome such an approach.

"I also think it is obvious that, when the government is able to set out a clear future path — one properly considered, whose implications have been foreseen, and that is rooted in reality and evidence, not dreams and dogma — then people need to be allowed to vote on it again. Brexit as it looks set to be delivered will be neither fully to leave the EU, nor fully to stay — and it will damage us both. That is not an outcome for which anyone knowingly voted."

No one voted to leave the Single Market or the Customs Union in the EU referendum - neither question was on the ballot paper.

In addition there's plenty of evidence that faced with the hard evidence of what leaving the EU will - voters now want a second referendum and their say on the final terms of Brexit.

So the $64,000 dollar question is why does a Conservative minister have more balls and principle than Jeremy Corbyn?


Buyers' Remorse and Brexit (08/06/18)

Here's an stunning set of opinion poll figures from YouGov which show that a big majority of voters, in every category, believe that Brexit is not going well.

Even a majority of the fruitcakes and loonies in UKIP think the 'wheels have come off the bogey'.

Yet Jeremy Corbyn continues to defy the will of Labour members and supporters - the man is a complete plonker! 


Corbyn, Labour and Brexit (07/06/18)

A group of Conservative MPs have tabled an amendment aimed at scuppering the Government's plans over Brexit and keeping the UK inside the biggest free market in the world.

Now given that leaving the Customs Union and the Single Market were not on the ballot paper for the great EU referendum in 2016, I think this is an entirely reasonable move - one that will promote trade, support UK business and protect UK jobs. 

But Labour is so tribal and conservative under Jeremy Corbyn's leadership that the Labour frontbench is reportedly unwilling to support this amendment - or a similar cross-party initiative to defeat the Government which is underway in the House of Lords.

The reality is that if Jeremy Corbyn doesn't stand up and speak out on behalf of Labour Party members, who support staying within the Single Market and Customs Union, the Labour leader will be helping the Conservative Government to get its way.


Jeremy Meets John (05/06/18)

The confected outrage of Jeremy Corbyn supporters over his unflattering portrayal by Tracey Ullman on the BBC has simply served to draw even more attention to the opinion of many, myself included, that the Labour leader is completely unsuited for high office.

But if you ask me, the following spoof of 'Jeremy meets John in Jezza's allotment' is a much more accurate portrayal of a Labour leader who has made the fatal mistake of believing his own propaganda - and who expects to become Prime Minister on the back a juvenile, leftist personality cult.  


Corbyn's Labour (03/06/18)

Tracey Ullman has upset lots of Corbyn supporters with an unflattering portrayal of the Dear Leader whose selfie session (on her comedy programme) is interrupted by a series of 'unwelcome' visitors.

Apparently Labour 'ultras' have taken to Twitter to accuse the comedian David Baddiel of writing the script, presumably as part of another Jewish conspiracy, which is comical itself and just draws even more attention to the problem Labour has with anti-Semitism under Jeremy Corbyn's leadership.