Cat's Meow
I enjoyed the following sketch of Prime Minister's Questions (PMQs) at Westminster - by Ann Treneman - which appeared in The Times yesterday.
Now to my mind George must have far too much time on his hands at the moment.
Why else would he come up with a word like 'adumbrate' - which is clearly not common parlance these days (even in Dundee) - instead of just asking the PM to explain himself?
I suppose the answer is that it's all a bit of theatre to George - a chance to show off and impress people with his stunning vocabulary - but if so, then the Respect leader missed a real trick.
Because the name of the game is to have people laughing with you - not at you - as they did yesterday in the House of Commons and, previously, on Big Brother.
Hilarity in the Chamber as gorgeous one gets a chop
George Galloway: 'more of a tourist in the House of Commons'
We were graced at PMQs with the presence of George Galloway, the gorgeous one, formerly the man in the red catsuit but now the MP for Respect. Actually, I think after yesterday we may have to make that the Disrespect Party.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Gorgeous George is a stranger in the Chamber; more of a tourist, really. I spotted him immediately in his immaculate three piece suit, sitting on the farthest-back Opposition bench. He wanted to be called and, even when seated, he was poised, as if for flight, with only one half of one buttock touching the bench, his body turned to Mr Speaker, his eyes lasering out like headlights above a beard more complicated than the mouth of the Mississippi.
For 32 minutes, Mr Speaker ignored him. The best question came not from Ed Miliband (though surely one day it must be) but from Alex Cunningham, his backbencher.
Alex began: “On the subject of food safety . . .”
Dave dived for his briefing binder, anticipating horseburgers.
Alex continued: “ . . . can you confirm that traces of stalking horse have been found in the Conservative Party food chain?”
Laugh? They almost cantered. Adam Afriyie, the ultra-smooth Tory wannabe, had a little whinny. Dave praised Mr Cunningham for his “ingenious pivot” and added, to hilarity, that the Tories have always stood for those who work hard and get on. “I am glad that all of those behind me take that very seriously indeed!”
We were then treated to Sir Peter Tapsell on manoeuvres. Sir Peter is the closest thing we have to a stately home in the Commons; so much so, that I half expect him to be sheltering the cast of Downton. “As you set forth on your pacific mission to Algeria,” he began, “will you bear in mind that when Louis Philippe sent his eldest son to Algeria in the 1840s on a similar venture, it took a century, massive casualties, the overthrow of the Third Republic and the genius of General de Gaulle to get the French Army back out of the North African desert?”
MPs shouted: “Answer!”
Dave ducked his head (not unlike a horse, actually) and said that he was sure that Sir Peter had asked about those events “at the time”. This caused mayhem. Sir Peter, who is 82, looked slightly disappointed.
And then at 12.33pm, Mr Galloway was called. This brought boos — actual boos — which I have never before heard in the Chamber. Mr Galloway began: “Will the Prime Minister adumbrate . . . ”
An MP cried: “You’re never here!” Another added: “Who is this guy?”
But George, who has a genius for rhetoric, had all listening in silence as he added: “ . . . the key differences between the hand-chopping, throat-cutting jihadists fighting the dictatorship in Mali that we are now to help to kill, and the equally bloodthirsty jihadists that we are giving money, matériel and political and diplomatic support in Syria? Have you read Frankenstein, and did you read it to the end?”
You could feel the venom as Dave arose: “Some things come and go but there is one thing that is certain: wherever there is a brutal Arab dictator in the world, he will have your support!”
Chop! The entire Chamber cheered.
