Not a Lot

Labour as well as Tory party leaders are now falling over themselves to tell us who they had dinners and meetings with - and when.

The list published by Ed Miliband shows - surprise, surprise - that he meets regularly either at his home or office - with the Bubs (Britain's unions bosses) whose members' money keeps the Labour party afloat, financially speaking.

Len McCluskey of Unite - Labour's largest financial backer - has apparently met Ed Miliband eight times with his union donating more than £5 million to Labour - while under Ed’s leadership.

Dave Prentis of Unison has met Mr Miliband five times - during which period the union has donated £2.4 million to Labour. 

And not to be outdone Paul Kenny of the GMB had six meetings or dinners with the Labour leader - while his union's donations totalled £2.5 million.

Expensive dinners you would have to say - but I don't know who would be more bored - Ed or the Bubs.

I haven't personally met Ed or Len McCluskey - but I think I'd rather stick pins in my eyes before spending the evening with either of them - voluntarily at least.

The same is true of Dave Prentis whom I have met on lots of occasions and do know reasonably well - but he's a bit of a wet blanket I would say - a bit deficient in the personality stakes, if you know what I mean.

Paul Kenny on the other hand has bags of personality - too much some would say - he's a real cheeky-chappy London barrow-boy type - a bit of a rogue who has been in the trenches in his time - yet the thought of spending an hour in his company wouldn't fill me full of dread.

I imagine the Scottish Labour leader - Johann Lamont - has similar engagements with the Subs (Scottish union bosses) - north of the border.

But these would almost certainly be even more dreary and far less fun - if that's even possible - from what I know of the participants.

So roll on the day when there's a cap on party donations - when the big trade unions pay more attention to their members - instead of wasting millions of pounds on a doomed love affair with Labour.

£10 million of the member's money has been spent since the Bubs handed the Labour crown to Ed Miliband - but what do they have to show for blowing all that dosh?

'Not a lot' - as Paul Daniels would say.