Saturday, 13 May 2017

Corbyn's Worst Enemy

Image result for jeremy corbyn + having a laugh

John Crace does a great job of making Jeremy Corbyn look completely mad with this hilarious sketch in The Guardian, but it is the Labour leader's own words and actions that do the real damage to his reputation - not reports from the mainstream media.

For example, witness these words from Mr Corbyn while delivering a big speech on foreign policy at Chatham House

"But I am not a pacifist. I accept that military action, under international law and as a genuine last resort, is in some circumstances necessary."

Yet, as John Crace point out in his Guardian piece:

"Given that the Labour leader had opposed every military intervention – including Kosovo and Sierra Leone – during his 34 years as an MP, it was inevitable that the first question would be whether there were any military actions that would have gained his blessing."

Touché, as they say, Mr Crace who also highlighted the fact that Labour's shadow defence spokesperson, Nia Griffiths, was not invited to the Chatham House event.

Corbyn loves to blame the media for his terrible public image, but I'm afraid the Labour leader is his own worst enemy.


Read John Crace's article via the link below to The Guardian

A good chat over a cup of tea: the Corbyn approach to conflict resolution

By John Crace - The Guardian

Labour leader flips between Mr Zen and Tough Guy personas in foreign policy speech at Chatham House

His election manifesto might not be safe in the hands of his own high command, but Jeremy Corbyn had come to Chatham House to reassure everyone that the country was safe in his. Everyone apart from his own shadow defence minister, Nia Griffith, who was left off the invitation list. The fact that she is strongly in favour of Trident renewal while the Labour leader is, at best, equivocal was presumably entirely coincidental.

Earlier in the week, Corbyn had tried being Mr Angry during the launch of Labour’s election bus, but now he was back to being Mr Zen. War was a bad thing, he said. Invariably war made things worse rather than better, so now was a time for some fresh thinking. Peace, love and understanding. What was needed was a leader who would bother to try to find peaceful solutions, not one who would walk hand in hand with a deranged US president who was about to declare war on North Korea, China and India.

Having a Laugh (11/05/17)

Image result for jeremy corbyn + having a laugh

Jeremy Corbyn's leaked manifesto proclaims that the next labour Government will renationalise the Royal Mail along with the rail and energy industries.

Now I find this quite surprising I have to admit, because all that Mr Corbyn has shown us so far is that he can't even mange the Labour Party or command the support of his backbench MPs.

So if you ask me, I think Jezza may just be having a laugh because most people think the Labour leader would struggle to organise a piss up in a brewery.


Real Fight Starts Now (06/05/17)

Image result for jeremy corbyn + having a laugh

Hugo Rifkind's spoof 'My Week' column in The Times is the funniest thing you'll read  anywhere about Labour and the fall out from the local council elections.

My Week: Jeremy Corbyn*
By Hugo Rifkind - The Times
John told me the results of the local elections (we’d almost forgotten about them) were quite mixed, probably because of the biased media - ANDY RAIN/EPA


“Everything will change,” says John McDonnell, “when the electorate gets to see the real you.”

All the top team are here. I’m in my kitchen with my back to them all, wearing my stained grey tracksuit and finishing a batch of jam to post off to my friends in Hamas.

“Hmmm?” I say, irritably.

Seumas Milne says John is right, because the media portrayal of me is completely biased. Smear after smear. Like all that stuff about Labour turning a blind eye to antisemitism. What other party leader has ever been accused of something like that?

“Hitler?” suggests Ken Livingstone, but everybody ignores him.

“Frankly,” says John, “if you believed the press, you’d think that Jeremy was a petulant old man who simply doesn’t have the work ethic to be prime minister. Which is ridiculous.”

“Totally ridiculous!” shouts Seumas. “The real fight starts now!”

“No it doesn’t,” I snap, turning around. “It starts tomorrow, because I worked on Sunday and I’m having a day in lieu. Pass me the strainer.”


The real fight starts now. With Diane Abbott doing an interview on LBC about our police policy. Which doesn’t go very well.

“I’m surprised,” I say, when she comes to debrief. “Because you’re normally our star performer.”

“Listen, Jewemy,” she says now, very, slowly. “I’ve done 10,000 interviews this morning and . . .”

“Are you sure?” I say.

Diane says it might be 25,000 interviews. Or 250,000 interviews. Or, perhaps, only about seven interviews. But the important point is that our police policy is out there now, and everybody knows what it is.

“Brilliant!” I say. “So what is it?”

Diane sighs, and closes her eyes.

“Diane?” I say.

But she doesn’t open them again, and eventually I have to go out.


I’m discussing election strategy with Tom Watson and John McDonnell, even though I worked yesterday, when Sir Keir Starmer drops by. He says the PM has attacked the European Commission, and we need to talk about it.

“But who are you?” I say.

“The shadow Brexit secretary,” says Keir, looking surprised.

“Ours?” I ask.

“Looks like a Tory to me,” says John, menacingly.

“I swear,” says Keir. Then he says that the PM has accused Jean-Claude Juncker of trying to stop people from electing her as prime minister. Which suggests he wants them to make me prime minister, instead.

“Is he insane?” says Tom.

“He does drink a lot,” says Keir.

“Whose side are you on?” I say.

“It does sound odd,” admits John, “when you say it out loud.”


It’s the day of the local elections. We’d all completely forgotten about them.

“We won’t lose more than 30 council seats,” says Diane Abbott. “Or maybe 300. Or, at a push, 300,000.”

“Are there that many?” I ask, but Diane has closed her eyes again, so that’s probably that.

Seumas Milne says these elections are only a test. The real fight starts once people have seen me on the doorstep.

“Especially now my wisteria is out,” I say, proudly, “and I’ve finally trimmed that rose bush.”

“Not your own doorstep,” says Seumas.

“Oh,” I say.


I’m at home making jam again. John McDonnell says our results are quite mixed, probably because of the biased media. Although we can deal with that once we’re in power. Like they did in Venezuela.

“We’re not getting into power,” snaps Tom Watson. “We’ve lost Glasgow. And half of Wales. And most of everywhere else. It’s a bloodbath. Wake up.”

John says one promising thing is that a few people have gone out and voted Labour, anyway, even though the biased media had told them that they weren’t going to.

“Does that make sense?” says Tom.

“Listen,” says Diane Abbott, and then closes her eyes and doesn’t say anything else.

“Remember,” I say, “the people who voted against us simply aren’t representative of the electorate. Whereas our supporters are.”

“But there . . . aren’t as many of them,” says Tom, hopelessly.

“That’s not important,” chuckles John.

“Yes it is!” shouts Tom.

“The real fight,” I say, sucking happily on my wooden spoon, “starts now.” 

*according to Hugo Rifkind

Real Fight Starts Here (10/02/17)

Image result for jaws eating captain quint + images

The internet has been having a great old time with Jeremy Corbyn's claim that 'the real fight starts here' over Brexit after failing to lay a glove on the Government and its Leave supporters for the past six months.

I think my favourite is this one of Captain Quint from the movie 'Jaws' as he leaves the giant shark in absolutely no doubt about who's calling the shots.


King of Comedy (09/02/17)

Image result for jeremy corbyn + having a laugh

Jeremy Corbyn has a promising career ahead in stand-up comedy ahead once he stands down from his current job of destroying the Labour Party.  

The Labour leader famously called for Article 50 to be invoked 'immediately' on 24 June 2016 the day after the great EU referendum and yesterday the House of Commons finally fired the Brexit starting pistol.

Under orders from Jeremy most Labour MP's rooted through the voting lobby with their Conservative colleagues before Corbyn issued the following defiant statement:

"Real fight starts now. Over the next two years Labour will use every opportunity to ensure Brexit protects jobs, living standards & the economy."

Now Jezza's brave words come more than six months after his call for Article 50 to be invoked 'immediately' during which time he has failed to lay a glove on the Tories or their leader Theresa May.

No one believes this for a minute, of course, and a stream of funny memes have appeared on the internet mocking Corbyn's vainglorious claim that he will 'fight to the death'.

Now that is funny - and some wag on Twitter illustrated the point with a video of a cat and a lizard in bathtub.