Sunday, 1 November 2015

The Manuel Defence

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho employed an unusual 'Manuel defence' as his side slid to another disastrous defeat (1-3) at home to arch rivals Liverpool.

Macho Man (03/10/15)

I wonder if it is just coincidence that Chelsea FC have performed so badly since their manager, Jose Mourinho, lost his tempter with the club doctor, Eva Carneiro, who has now left the club after an Football Association 'investigation' which cleared Mourinho of any wrongdoing, incredibly, without interviewing Carneiro. 

In any event Mourinho's petulant behaviour is bound to cost Chelsea a pretty penny as he clearly had no right to sideline and effectively punish the good doctor who was, after all, only doing her job. 

So perhaps the 'Gods of football' have decided that if Mourinho is not man enough to apologise and admit he was wrong, then he'll just have to learn about good manners the hard way.

Only a Game! (31/08/15)

Image result for mourinho and team doctor + images

I enjoyed this article from Private Eye, the UK's best and only fortnightly satirical magazine, in which a doctor writers about the the beautiful game and the fuss surrounding Jose Mourinho's spectacular falling out with Team Chelsea's physician, Eva Carneiro. 

A Doctor Writes

As a doctor, I'm often asked, What the fuck you doing, you crazy woman?! Don't you know the rules of football?!

To which the simple answer is - "Calm down, Mr Mourinho, I'm just doing my job, and it's only a stupid game."

This situation arises when a player is injured on the pitch , requiring urgent medical attention, but the manager is more concerned about the flak he's going to get for dropping two points at home to Swansea.

What the manager is showing are symptoms of megalomaniacal neurosis or Oligarch Syndrome, which can end in the termination of one's contract, or if Polonium* is involved, something worse.

Side effects can include extreme misogyny, sulking in press conferences, and the refusal to admit you've down anything wrong.

So at the end of the day, if you wish to avoid being sick as a parrot, and want to feel over the moon again, simply take one game at a time, and before you know it, the boy's done good.   

@ Doctor

Polonium is, of course, the new centre back recently signed from Dynamo Moscow.

Laugh? I was in stitches, though thankfully not of the medical kind.